so long as it's black...

Bye

2011-05-16T09:47:00.002Z

I suck at updating two blogs so I'm going to put all my crafty stuff over on Always Autumn. Check it out. And thanks for reading.

No fingers!

2010-01-07T14:06:00.004Z

I'd ask you to picture the scene but then you wouldn't quite get the feeling. Three floors up, built sometime early last century, leased by a charity, one storage heater at the other end of the room.

It's cold. Cold. Cold. Cold!

These little guys knitted over Christmas are helping to make me something close to productive again. Plus they are useful for jogging and keeping the hands warm while I write and read outside on not so cold days.

The pattern, from Weekend Knitting, is great to knit. I did both at the same time to minimise the chance of only having one glove at the end of it. The garter stitching and short row shaping give a great look.

But of course it doesn't matter to me...

2010-01-05T10:29:00.003Z

Trying to find a way of saying this without sounding patronising and stuck up is harder than I thought. But the trigger for this post concerned my family. So please forgive me if I seem like I know best. I know I don't. But I still want it for those I love.

We got a Wii Fit for Christmas. I've wanted one ever since they first came out.

And I'm a sensible girl. I know BMI is bullshit. I know I don't want to loose weight. I know that loosing weight is a bad goal. I know I want to exercise because I like it and I miss being more active and I can't rely on running because of my ankle... and so on.

I'm a good girl. I do it right. I know better than to be affected by being told my BMI or the little mii getting fatter and... well no. Because my BMI is 'normal', middle of normal at that. My Mii is neither skinny nor plump. I know better than that yeah but even if I didn't it wouldn't matter. I don't have to deal with a computer game shaming me.

I'm a good girl. The Wii said so. My Doctor said so. I'm ignoring compliments and I'm betting that it is much harder to ignore the insults.

But that is not true with everyone in my life. Waif like boyfriend, large Father. Each being told they are wrong (guess which one more than the other!)

Don't tell me it's not straight

2010-01-04T11:01:00.004Z

I've finally managed to hang Darwin! (and even iron him, I'm being such a good girl today) It's been such a long time between finishing it and buying a frame that it now has a partner, and a third one drafted. I'm hoping to fill the gap in the centre with Dorothy Parker.

The partner features fun metallic brown threads (and by fun I mean...) and little flowers. I must have come up with the idea when the balcony was looking less ravaged by winter and more bountiful and beautiful.

Revolutions not resolutions

2010-01-03T11:38:00.005Z

Last year I accidentally made a new years resolution. Yes, that sounds stupid but did. I decided that I wanted to lessen my impact, shrink my foot print, that sort of thing.

I didn't make a resolution in so many words. 'I won't do this' or, as the taught us in school to be more positive about self denial, 'I will do this' In fact my resolution, such as it is, contained so many exceptions and so much hedging language that it doesn't compress in to a catchy phrase.

I wasn't going to buy any new clothes.

Except...

Things that would wear out (like a pair of jeans or pyjamas)

Gear (for camping, not freezing to death and other things with safety concerns)

Underwear

Guide Uniform

Fabric

Everything else has to be second hand. I didn't make it an official resolution because I knew I'd break it. And I did, although at the time I didn't know that unemployment would help me keep on the straight and narrow. Besides it's just a thing I decided in January and not anything I put together for new years.

I sinned in Disney World, for a job interview, and shopping in the sales with my Dad last week. But I'm not giving up my not-resolution. I'm going to try to stick with it, let myself off for the little things and feel smug for at least making a small difference to my consumption levels.

This year it's happened the same way although due to a festive spike in our consumption levels. Christmas gifts have brought me three things: a Wii Fit (thanks Dad!), a pair of trainers (thanks Boyfriend!) and a journal (thanks Grandma!). Which means I'm exercising more, scribbling more, and running again.

I enjoy these things. That is why I'm doing them. And I'm not stressing about how I have to do it all everyday. Well, I'm trying not to. I'm enjoying the movement and enjoying the pen between my fingers. Who knows how long it will last. But I'm thinking that doing something that I love creates slightly more sustainable habits than telling myself that I have to do something.

And let me finish by belatedly wishing you a wonderful New Year.

loves christmas

2009-12-19T17:04:00.004Z

One corner of our flat (and only one corner... to please my Christmas hating Boyfriend) has officially been given up to the season. And on the tree are two new decorations for this year. I do have a certain number of filler baubles but eventually I want each one to be one of a kind. I'm not going to demand a story from each one (although most have one) but I at least one them to be incredibly pretty. This year they are hearts made from fabric and ribbon scraps. Memories of unemployment I guess.

In Pixels

2009-12-08T15:35:00.003Z

I wrote this so long ago that my biography lists me as having a job. It was before I joined in with Guiding in Torbay too.

But I did write it! From The F-Word about Guiding and being girl only.

"Starting Guiding at the rather late age of 20, I was admittedly being a hypocrite. All of the benefits I claim to get out of it now were far from my mind and I did not like the idea of a single-sex organisation. After all, that is why I was never a Guide growing up."

Now go read the rest!

So where have I been...

2009-12-03T15:22:00.006Z

I had a busy vegan MoFo that involved badly spraining my ankle, then I got so sick I couldn't stand, travelled to see my Dad and Gran, got sick again, travelled down to London, lost my train tickets home* and came back to Torquay.

Luck wise and health wise I haven't had the best year really. But one more month - in which will probably loose my debit card and my house keys - and we can start again.

However it hasn't all been bad. I'm now a trained I n4mer and I'm hoping to be able to start running sessions in the area some time after Christmas. I'm on the list to do PR for a district event which sets to be all sort of fun. I got to see some of my Family (last minute trip so I didn't make it around even half of the people I wanted to see!)

Oh yeah, and I got to go to Edinburgh! This is me (shock!) on top of the Camera Obscura with the 11th Torquay Brownie Mascots. It was a great weekend and big thanks go to my Guiding community, family and friends who made it possible.

To quickly recap the weekend we had a Castle visit where I got to look at the crown jewels, an open top bus ride which was freezing but very entertaining, a ball with less than brilliant food but an excellent band and a great deal of dancing and I got to verify that one man wore his kilt in the traditional manor. As you can probably tell by the picture it was cold and overcast but the city was brilliant and the company even better.

*The current leading theory is that they were taken out of my coat pocket so if you are the person who got a free trip to Torquay two weekends ago then I apologise. If you had just asked me I could have told you that it isn't worth it.

Sitting Comfortably

2009-10-04T19:05:00.003Z

Okay, so I haven't yet finished the cushion covers for the living room. Or arranged a new (matching!) set of bed linen. I haven't made a toilet paper cosy, a pot holder or sewn up the hole in my pocket.

But I did make the most darling cushion cover... for the balcony... in October. No, I can't remember the last time I was accused of being practical either.

The fabrics are a mix of my leftovers, off cuts priced for pennies at the local fabric shop and, for the middle right, a vintage floral.

World Issues 1/4

2009-10-02T15:05:00.005Z

EDIT: Health issues and other things stopped me from writing the follow up posts. I'm afraid their is no resolution for this one. We had fun though.

For the next three weeks I’m helping with Brownies. Brown Owl (the woman in charge) is also an assistant at guides with me and she needed a bit of help.

I said I’d come in to do a badge. Being a visitor like this helped me decide on what to do. I like talking about world issues with our girls but the added respect and detachment I get from being just a visitor was a big help in bringing up more difficult problems.

So I have the chance to do the World Issues badge. And – as it’s the centenary year – I’m going to be asking the girls to identify an issue they feel strongly about and have them work to make thing better.

This week we took on children’s rights. Not the easiest of issues to explain. Teaching about hurt and pain and the horrible things people do to each other is difficult for them and me. Add to that children who are being treated like crap by the people who are supposed to protect them the most – parents, teachers, governments – and yeah. Hard.

But we got there. To explain the concept of children’s rights with them we started with a game. They chose the game and started playing. It was All Brownies for those who know it (I didn’t!) and I walked over and announced that the winner would get a prize. They played the game and the winner stepped forwards.

I told her I didn’t much like the idea of giving my prize away, that I was going to keep it and she had no say.

After the complaining settled down I asked them if they thought it was fair? No. I asked them if they thought it was right? No. Then I asked them how it felt to be ignored and treated unfairly.

Then we used an Oxfam produced activity to introduce the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child. We discussed what we thought was important and why.

I pulled my map out and attacked it with sticky notes. ‘Does anyone know where Sierra Leone is?’ We talked about war, drought, and access to medicine. All with real life examples.

Then we went back to playing games. Right before we finished for the night we held the big vote. What issue do the girls want to work on in the next three weeks? What do they want to change?

All hands went up for stopping Animal Cruelty. Check back next week when we’ll have more of that plus talking about the work of international charities.

You can see the World Issues badge here, sign your daughter up for Brownies here, or become a leader yourself here.

Home grown

2009-09-30T15:09:00.004Z

I'm busy getting ready to fund raise for Edinburgh tonight and I'm planning four weeks of discussing important world issues with girls age 7-9.

More on those when they have happened. All I have for you now is some hand stitched flowers out of leftover materials that I'm hoping to get a few pennies for later.

Things I wish I was doing

2009-09-25T18:59:00.002Z

I feel like I've been punched in the head. Not that I can remember what that feels like. I'm just assuming that it feels something like the brain aching, blocked up feeling I'm having right now.

I have another bloody cold and have spent all week either tearfully exhausted or surviving on a bizarre blend of Hall's Soothers, spicy crisps, chocolate and pouting at boyfriend.

What I'm trying to say is that this isn't the most interesting blog post in the world, ever. In fact, it's about things that I'm not doing. So take that as some sort of sign.

Oxfam are up to something. Well, I mean, they are always up to something, they are a busy organisation. Anyway. They are asking for people to fund raise. In the office, school, wherever you happen to be. It's to help fund climate change projects.

They offer such ideas as denim day, collecting 1p and 2p coins and, awesomely, baking. Unfortunately I'm already spending my October fund raising for something else and I don't have an office to force to participate. But if you would and could like to give it a bash you can find the info here.

Also in October is World Food Day and people are needed to Stand Against Poverty. So if you are into raising awareness and know a few like minded people why not hold an event. We'll be participating with Guides but it will have to be the Monday after for us.

And I'm still washing the sand out

2009-09-21T08:08:00.004Z

Did you notice? Officially Britishly at least we just had the last weekend of summer. We spent Sunday at the beach, arriving when the tide was going out. We had a dip, Stephen dammed a river, I read a bit, we ate lunch, we ate doughnuts. We explored the low tide. There was more swimming, ice cream and slushes.

And that was the end of another summer. Also I got decent shots of the dress I wore to the wedding.Shots that don't involve me stood in a badly lit pub. Hope this gives a better idea. If not, at least I've got my hair down.

Rules are Rules

2009-09-19T11:56:00.004Z

I just got my Ultimate Edinburgh confirmation which is making me very happy right now.

So I thought I would use the opportunity to share with you our new unit guidelines. The girls thought up the rules, we vetted them and then held a vote.

Respect each other
Have fun but be sensible
Listen to others when they are talking
Tell a leader when you can't attend

All of them, especially number three, will be forgotten about before the next meeting but it did manage to buy us a bit of peace. I'm working on activities centred around Children's Rights, Independent Living and World Food Day at the moment. Any ideas?

A question of style, a question of rights

2009-09-18T13:51:00.004Z

I've never took a peek at The Telegraph's style guide. I owned a copy of the Times version and wrote to the Guardian one at university but I haven't seen The Telegraph's.

I wonder though. Does it say, like the others I've seen, that when referring to people that you should always use their preferred gender? Is that rule and it's been broken here or haven't they got a shred of humanity at all?

The headline is 'Boy, 12, is having sex change, school announces' the actual story is that the School called an Assembly to tell the students this girl must be treated like a girl.

Or, as the Telegraph would spin it, that this school is forcing kids to be accepting and understanding without first informing the parents. In their own words now:

'the boy...was immediately taunted by classmates who recognised him from primary school.

'As a result, the 1,000-pupil school in south east England decided to call an emergency assembly ordering children to treat him as a girl and use his new name' [emphasis mine]

Way to go Telegraph. You can't even show the same understanding that we're expecting of twelve year olds.

And let's face it we should be expecting this of them. The question isn't whether these kids are old enough to understand gender identity in the most basic of terms (or, rather, if their parents are) but whether they are old enough to show someone basic common decency.

Whether they are old enough to know that we shouldn't persecute people for not being 100%, certified normal.

To suggest that this girl should put up with - as The Telegraph lightly puts it- taunting because parents think their children might find the concept of her existence a bit difficult is more than a little bigoted. Not to mention completely crap.

So well done to this school and to this girl and her parents and to the kids who, and I'm sure they existed, were more accepting. Screw you Telegraph.

And no, I couldn't bring myself to search for the original Sun coverage. I'm just going to assume that it would anger me.

Seahorses Are Real

2009-09-18T10:21:00.006Z

'"But that's not you. It's not really you when you are ill"

"Yes it is, it's a part of me."'

I'm exhausted. I've just finished reading Seahorses Are Real as part of the LibraryThing Early Reviewers programme. Whether it was the writing, the unrelenting misery, or my own problems getting in the way it took me all bloody week. For perspective I could usually finish something of that length in two days so yeah, I'm exhausted. As you can imagine I had a bit of a mixed reaction.

Seahorses are Real details the abusive relationship between Marley, who suffers from depression, and David. David plunged himself into the relationship with hopes of saving her and, as the novel opens, he realises he can’t. How surprising. And the misery they bring each other is the subject.

The idea that depression makes you miserable isn't new nor is the idea that it can make the lives of people around you miserable. You, in a sense, loose all perspective. Things get blown out of proportion, you become irrational. You can say, and do, shitty things as a result of that. I have. And I have the ends of relationships and bruises from punching walls to prove it.

But I think David gets off lightly here. He too has a skewed view of things. He is the stereotypical nice guy (with as many TM's as you would like) who wants to save Marley. In his dreams he is rescuing her. He thinks he can protect her and rescue her. Fix her. The fact that he can't, that he has failed adds bitterness to an already sour situation. I really don't think that is explored enough.

The story is told in through cycle of fighting and making up. Abuse and making nice. And the unrelenting cycle that is Marley’s life: Jobcenter, ineffectual councillor (who makes remarks and hand her pills in sealed envelopes, this book could be read as an advocacy for proper treatment if nothing else!), home. The cycle that she longs to ditch as much as the depressive thoughts.

Like that, as a study, the novel doesn’t do too badly. It shows the horrible reality of a couple who only show affection with a side of sarcasm and who are overly dependant on each other for their happiness quite well, even if Marley is up – I think unfairly – for more criticism.

However the writing falls short. And I hesitate to say thing because I can see what’s trying to be achieved but it does just tend to fall back. The overload of adjectives, clichéd similes, repetitive sentences are a tool to let us see through Marley’s mentally ill gaze. However with the third person it just makes the novel seem clumsy and unpolished.

When the viewpoint characters switch and we see things from David’s eyes it does so clumsily. Several places I was dragged out of the story wondering where I was and who I was with now.

I will treasure the description of the calm after the storm, the hopefulness following a breakdown but ultimately the writing keeps me from giving the thumbs up, excited grin recommendation.

One a Day...

2009-09-17T08:02:00.003Z

I've got to say that I'm rather sick of people freaking out when they here I'm on anti-depressants. And for the most part they aren't freaking out because I'm depressed (which is definitely freak-out-able. It sucks.) but because I'm on the pills for it.

I mean don't they ruin your life? They can't really make you happy? Don't they have horrible side effects? And if you do get happy on them how do you know if you are really happy or if it's just the drug?

Where to start? No, they don't ruin my life. Being depressed ruined my life. I let people down, treated them like crap, I didn't get my degree. Also, I felt like complete and utter shit. I was still functioning, yes, but getting up and feeding myself was exhausting. I wanted to die. Anti-depressants didn't do any of those things to me. They gave me my life back.

Second, I studied English literature so I really can't tell you, in anything but the floweriest terms, how 'happiness' works. All I know about brain chemistry is a doodle by the wonderful GP who diagnosed me. But my little pills got me to a state where I could function. Where things that used to make me happy could make me happy once again. That was good.

And yes, horrible side effects. Every little pill you take has that potential and many people have to try out almost every pill in existence before finding the right one. Which is why - ideally - you need a bloody good Doctor to help you deal. And yes, I do have a relativity minor side effect but the benefits I get from my anti-depressant outweighs it. For some people it doesn't and they decide against making anti-depressants part of their treatment. Cool. You have to do what's best for you. That is what treating depression is all about.

Lastly, I don't give a damn. Many people have asked me in their deep philosophical voice 'well how do you know if you are really happy'. Hell, as a kiddo, I asked that question myself. As a grown up I can say, without a doubt, that I just don't care.

Am I really happy? There is probably no way to tell. I feel happy and after feeling miserable for so long that is all that matters to me.

All those questions, those fearful questions, have been asked by people. Ordinary people. And you don't wonder why any more when half-baked advice columnists freak out over the same thing.

Malnutrition, outdated medical care, babies, lack of sanitation: a diet that finally works.

2009-09-16T10:24:00.005Z

When comparing the 1940's to today:

' So why are we getting taller? It's partly down to nutrition - a better and more plentiful diet'
'Now, with warmer homes, better medicine and improved sanitation, our energy - significantly in childhood - can be devoted to growth.'
'women in 1949 were slimmer because their diet centred on vegetables and complex carbohydrates' and of course rationing that 'allowed about 3,000 calories a day' if you could get that much.
'post-war women also expended many more calories through housework and having to walk or cycle everywhere.' Drudgery! It was good for you!
'There is a tendency for the Pill to stimulate breast growth,' whore.
Hips aren't wide enough because 'if a woman's hormone levels are unbalanced she ends up storing more fat around the waist and less around the hips where we should' ie it's the pill's fault you whore.
'Women's feet can change a whole size in their lifetime with weight gain.'

Yes, it's a badly researched comparison that quote experts in seemingly unrelated fields but the conclusion is clear. Life was better when we had nowt to eat and fewer choices. Now who wants to give up the last 60 years of progress - in the UK at least - in modern medicine, access to food, and human rights? Anyone?

You may get thinner!

And at the end of the day longevity isn't a good thing because an ageing female population is prone to Osteoporosis which costs the NHS money.

Also, and I hated to break it to you, 'Bigger breasts alone don't necessarily mean an increased risk of breast cancer' actually translates to 'I know you weren't worrying about it and you have no reason to but perhaps you should'. So fellow Bravissimo shopper... we're doomed.

Quotes taken out of the appalling context given to it by the Daily Mail.

Decorating Union Street

2009-09-15T11:59:00.004Z

series of photos that stretch both the definition of public art and the definition of Union Street. To be honest, more the latter than the former. My map skills are much more profound than my social commentary. A

Hiding Inside on A Sunny Day

2009-09-10T16:33:00.005Z

And my face is starting to burn so allow me, if you will, to rave about a book.

I read Halting State by Charles Stross as it was a new addition to Torquay Library. It still had that sexy new book smell which is a luxury for me right now. But the smell isn't the point, neither is the cute pixel art on the cover.

Halting State is about very bad things going down in an online game. It's tales of futuristic technology are delicious. Nothing that hasn't been predicted in a feature on Click but made much more human by the everyday lives surrounding it.

The novel follows three characters Sue, of the Edinburgh constabulary, Jack, who knits and programmes and, Elaine, forensic accountant and - in her spare time - a medieval swords person. The viewpoint is switched to tell the story from the three perspectives. I tried to race through Sue's because her story was much less interwoven with the other two.

What was really clever though is that it is written in third person. It gives a great effect of throwing you in the story and getting you emotionally involved without giving the game away. After all you assume you knows all about it while I may want to give subtle hints or tell you outright. This way the surprises stay surprises.

The plot moves on from robbery in an online game through industrial sabotage and international espionage the plot becomes a little hard to follow in the last twenty pages or so. The race for 'The End' is fast paced and in that it looses something.

Halting State is, however, a fantastic, realistic near future bit of SF. It gets extra bonus points for having characters instead of caricatures and someone who knits.

A little round up

2009-09-04T13:24:00.004Z

Because things don't happen to you unless you blog about them I'm going to do a quick round up of the things in my life that don't let me waffle for long enough to get a full blog post out of them but are nevertheless really exciting.

I've been selected to be on staff for Fusion! It's the Fourth of next August and is set to be spectacular. From the website 'Fusion will feature over a thousand of the best outdoor performers from across Europe, with everything from music and dance to circus acts, buskers and theatre performers'. If you are a little girly Guide (girly Guide!) you can start booking places on the 4th January.
If you used to be a little girly Guide (girly Guide!) you can chat with former and current members on Guides Reconnected. I'm on there.
I've got a reviewers copy of Seahorses are Real on it's way. It's 'a haunting tale of love and tragedy'.
I own three copies of The Picture of Dorian Gray already. But I want this one.
One of our Bookcrossing books made it all the way to Italy!

We got no troubles

2009-09-04T10:14:00.003Z

So we moved into our flat in October. To go with it we bought a shiny new telly. It had a built in DVD player and freeveiw.

Now let me just say that I'm a big fan of the telly. I love sitting down to watch something. Accompanied by snacks, my duvet, and/or a craft project and it's even better. And at the end of the day (oh dear? Did I just make a bad pun?) my DVD collection is the only thing that makes my infrequent bouts of insomnia bearable.

So the shiny new telly which would be my first telly in four years was a very welcome addition. Only it's broken down bit by bit since we first bought it. First the sound, then the DVD player, now it's refusing to pick up all but the strongest signal.

Sad! But yesterday our shiny new DVD player came so now we can at least watch DVDs and when Stephen gets paid for a project he's working on we'll be able to put the old broken thing out to pasture once and for all. (Side note: how crap does it feel to be unemployed right now?)

So we treated ourselves to a night of chips and DVD's during which I managed to finish embroidering one of our cushion covers. I've been meaning to decorate them to fit in better with our colour scheme since we moved in. I feel guilty about that because they where hand made by Stephen's Mum and, honestly, you can't improve on her sewing. Especially not with my half baked stitches.

I did want to go for an alien theme but Stephen and I could actually agree on an under the sea theme so we went for that. He even obligingly drew the fish. Eventually I'll work on the second cushion.

I guess I'm not

2009-09-02T19:44:00.002Z

So I was going to use the last few hours of daylight to blog about cupcakes.

Then I got angry. Really, incredibly angry. Again at We Are The Real Deal. This time I get the message loud and clear. They are the real deal. I'm not. So I'm not going back.

So what is so anger inducing this time? MizFit posting about 'What IS average?' or, indeed, how to tell if you are better than everyone.

It's getting late and the wind is blowing and the rain is falling. I'm short of breath. So I'm just going to do a baby deconstruction here.

"In today’s world (where 75% of U.S. adults are projected to be overweight & 41% obese by 2015) what is average anymore anyway?"

Scary projections aside (mainly because it isn't 2015 and even if it was obesity isn't bad in and of itself...) it seems to me that the question is not how to tell that I'm average it's how to tell if I'm not one of those big, bad, fat chicks.

Let's go a bit further into this. Why, why oh why, do you need to know if you are average? Why do you need to know how you measure on a curve?

The basics of body acceptance tell us that it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you are average, above average or bellow average in anything. You are a person. Your measurements don't define you, you shouldn't be defined by your measurements.

Knowing where you are on the curve is putting people above you and bellow you. It's setting yourself in a rank. And it this case it's wanting to see how you are better than 'American average' which means sadly in MizFit's opinion 'just a little overweight'.

That type of thinking? It's the very antithesis of acceptance.

Even worse that MizFit's standard for being awesomely average is ridiculously ableist. See, this is what you should do:

"an easy way to determine whether you are in ‘fine’ or average shape is to run up two flights of stairs or walk six blocks"

Can you manage that? If not, then you aren't fine.

Now keep in mind that I have no physical disability. I'm average remember. But I have days when I can't get out of bed, my right ankle is playing up, my childhood asthma has left me with a low lung capacity, period pain, hay fever and like everyone else I'm at the mercy of bacteria, viruses and anything that wants to call my body it's home. These are only the problems a healthy person (who can walk 13 miles without flinching if the conditions are right) has with this test of averageosity.

That's the problems with this entire 'be healthy' rhetoric. It's crap. Healthy is a state. A state that can not be achieved by hard work and dedication if all the cards are stacked against you. To judge people by this standard - that many of us only hold onto by the skin of our teeth - is the very antithesis of acceptance.

It also has nice connotations about class. Now I can't speak for the States but I am told that it's sometimes a problem there to walk for six blocks. It certainly can be here in some areas and we have plenty of footpaths and pavements.

Class connotations are also rife in exercises+ awesome diet= infallible health rhetoric. If only you work at it by going to the gym and eating 'healthful' foods you deserve health. Anyone who doesn't have the same resources, funds, time and priorities (Any or all in combination) is just lazy and isn't working hard enough.

So let's answer MizFit's questions:

"Non-Americans: do you see us as the Great Surrendering to SuperSizing nation?

Have we gone so far into the notion of perfect not being important & it’s ok to be less than our best & we need to love ourselves regardless that we’ve swung too far into deconditioned is the new black! territory?"

Yes, body acceptance has gone too far. Truly if we allow people to be okay with themselves even if they aren't healthy, even if they aren't average then...

Wait no, that isn't what happens at all.

People are still discriminated against for having different bodies. Fat people are dismissed by doctors, women have sexual abuse shouted at them on the street, disabled people, people of colour, non-heterosexuals, transgendered people... Treated like crap for looking different everyday.

Acceptance hasn't gone too far. On a large societal scale it hasn't even happened. A world which MizFit describes in fearful tones sounds perfect to me.

'we need to love ourselves regardless' and to suggest anything but We Are The Real Deal has become the antithesis of acceptance.

No Claws!

2009-09-01T14:14:00.004Z

Memories, eh? Do you remember the days when I could spend six quid on a repair job (or six quid at all!), the days when I had hair that bright, the days when Stephen took pictures of me that weren't blurry?

What ever happened to those days? Well I can't tell you that but I can tell you what happened to the skirt. It got a hole in it. I got rather over adventurous with some scissors and cut not only the fabric on my lap but the skirt as well.

This repair job came out of the stash. Stephen copied a cat print down for me as I was watching Gardener's World. I whipped out my chalk and drew it around the hole. Some satin stitch and a gold outline later and I look like I've been attacked by a kitten with muddy paws.

I think it's rather cute myself.

(Incidentally I'm more than a little ashamed of my use for the words 'sane' and 'insane' in the post linked to. I apologise.)

How realising thin privilege meant realising thin...

2009-08-26T10:56:00.003Z

For some reason that will go unmentioned, but from recent posts you can probably guess, I’ve been thinking of my own thin privilege lately.

When I found fat acceptance I was coming at it from the perspective of someone who thought them self fat. I’m not. I’m thin. But I’ve only come to realise I was thin recently.

Why? Well yes, I lost inches around the waist as a result of pasty deprivation but - I admit now – I was thin before that.

Probably my mental issues come into play here, making me cringe with disgust as my big flabby stomach brushed against the sheets in bed. Or how I screamed thinking of my fat cheeks turning inward to suffocate me.

Reading that back it scares me. How the hell did my body image get so far off of what I am: an average sized, average height woman who always manages to find something off the rack even if my boobs make me an inbetweenie.

And yes, some off that is anxiety and depression. I imagine I have some undiagnosed body issues thrown in. Some of it is, of course, growing up with a family that commented on my chicken legs. And I think that is why thin privilege can be so hard to grasp. Because it’s easy enough to think thin people have it easy but not so easy to say ‘like me’

I have had it easier being thin. To choose just one example when I joined the University Health Centre in my first year I had to have a physical. The guy doing it did my BMI and found me solidly (as usual) in the middle.

He asked me if I did any exercise. “No, not really. But I do walk everywhere.” He told me that it wasn’t a problem but I may want to think about joining the gym if I put on weight like a lot of people do in first year.

Yeah, spot the logic there.

So from realising I was thin I could realise my thin privilege, but how did I come to realise I was thin? It ties in with something I’ve wanted to talk about for a while. How my barely updated craft blog got political.

You see it’s hard for me to separate one from the other. Just like how we occasionally bring up the politics of food on Always Autumn politics is entwined with the way I craft.

If I where to post about how I wasn’t doing any projects or – more accurately – how I didn’t feel I had done anything good enough to post I couldn’t do that without talking about depression.

Cutting the cloth for a dress makes me think about my body. I measure it constantly, evaluating a clothing project means talking about my boobs or my hip size. And so often when I post ‘my big boobs’ so on or ‘I’ve lost weight so I’ve taken this in’ I feel like apologising for having at least some ideal (so called, although not in the sense that it causes me problems with altering in the first place!) parts of my body.

Crafting lends itself to discussion of body image, to my mental state. It makes me think about feminism and the treatment of the mentally ill. When I want to write about crafting with Guides it’s often linked up with thoughts about how young people don’t have a realistic voice.

Quite frankly if I tried to separate the political from the personal I’d never bloody post. And -of course - I didn't.

Dots and spots

2009-08-25T08:00:00.003Z

"Boyfriend, will you take a picture of me in my new top?"

"Sure just sit next to the new backup server."

So this is me in my new top, sat next to the new backup server.

The pattern is Simplicity 3750, which is rather cool. I used view E. The other variations give cute puff sleeves, big bell sleeves, breezy cap sleeves and a tunic length. It's a wonderful pattern, with it's elastic and gathering on the bust, that can go from casual to decadent depending on the fabric.

I went for Minnie Mouse personally. I took out the sash, lengthening the bottom front. Next time remind me to drop the top front down two inches, cut the length of the elastic shorter by another one and clip the armholes shorter by a half.

I'm hard to please

2009-08-21T08:04:00.003Z

There is so much I want to rant about today that I'm just going to list them. Three things that I'm not impressed by:

1. This picture in Glamour (US)

It doesn't impress me, it doesn't placate me. One 'normal' woman in one issue of one magazine.

Not even getting into the idea of what is normal I think the ideal we are striving for here is a diverse representation of body shapes, sizes and colours. I want to see people on all parts of the spectrum not just one slightly chubby, naked, white, blond woman as a political statement.

A lot of people are saying she looks happy and healthy but come on! You can not tell how healthy someone is by a picture. You can't see inside some one's body, you can't even see the other side of her body. And happy? Chances are she was told to smile at the camera. She is a model, posing for a photograph.

2. This arsewipe Doctor who thinks loosing weight can cure depression.

I mean come on! I've heard every magic cure for depression there is. What I haven't heard is that you can cure depression by shaming your patients and treating what you perceive are their problems rather than what they are asking for.

And yet I know that there is a problem with people accessing medicine because their doctors are turning them away, or accepting them if only they did the impossible ie. maintain a low weight. And I know people don't take depression seriously even when you fit into that right weight. And I know that people have no idea how people eat but assume they do based on appearances.

Yet I'm shocked and bloody angry when one arse in a white coat can use all these things - all of their unfounded prejudices - to ruin some one's life.

3. It's the time of year again to tear young people apart.

A-level results are in and turns out people did well. This -as it turns out- is not to do with better teaching methods that engage a variety of learning styles, better understanding of learning difficulties or anything else that gives all people a chance at a decent education.

No, it is a result of the exams getting easier. And so the hand wringing starts from people who haven't looked at these exams in years know - like every older generation since time immemorial, or at least the Romans - that kids today are thickos.

And they say this with no regard to the young people. Who, lets face it, only ever get in the news over this and ASBOs. They don't care about someone who is pleased to bits about achieving their A or someone who already thinks they are crap for getting a D.

I'm angry, I'm full of hay fever and god knows the world isn't putting me in a happy place today.

No Excuses

2009-08-20T09:51:00.002Z

I'm sure you heard about what happened at We Are The Real Deal. It made my blood boil, it also made me feel very stubborn so I'm reading there and commenting there despite that. What I'm trying to say is that I don't currently endorse them. I respect the ideals and hope it can get back on track but I don't endorse the current atmosphere.

Okay, that aside I'd like to talk about one of the last posts Those Stretch Marks Run Deep by new team member Yum Yuky.

She points out that to her stretch marks are a mark of her pregnancies:

"We earn our stripes daily as we grow the child, birth it with joy at 10 centimeters dilated, and sling it on our hip as we multitask and serve Husband refreshing beverages."

Now it's already been pointed out that Yum Yuky was talking from her own experiences and that she herself got some stretch marks at puberty so this isn't particularly aimed at Yum Yuky herself but...

Every time, each and every time, I see people defending their body based on the fact that they have given birth it makes me feel like a pile of crap.

My hips are wide child birthing hips, my fat didn't come off after my pregnancy, my pregnancy gave me stretch marks. And I've seen more.

See by giving a reason for a 'bad' feature - and quite often I imagine the person writing the statement in unconscious of this - you are giving an excuse. Perhaps giving is the wrong word. Providing possibly. You are providing the reader with a reason that you are virtuous and the other wide hipped, streachmarked fatties aren't.

It sets up a deserving vs. undeserving argument and as an undeserving it makes me feel like crap.

Because people have seen my stretch marks and told me it's odd that I have them. And those people, not Yum Yuky, who are really annoying me here. It pisses me off that my body is supposed to fit a script, and somebody else's script at that.

I don't need to defend my body, I don't need a reason to have stretch marks. I just am and I just have.

I commented on the original post:

I’ve often felt like a freak for this, and I’d like to admit it here.

I have stretch marks.

I have no kids, no pregnancies and –so I’ve been told, at least- no excuse.

They are about half the way down my thighs and there are some smaller patches in my stomach and breasts. When I first got them, around 13, they where bright, bloody red. Now they are white.

For me they aren’t a badge of honour, they aren’t a symbol of something gained, or lost. They just are.

At the wedding

2009-08-17T09:31:00.006Z

It's easy to be cynical isn't it? But watching my cousin Chris get married this weekend was a good cure.

They are young, that is younger than me, so watching them get married was a little scary. But they are very family orientated - they are family Sims - and they are lucky enough to have found each other while they are young. And if anyone wants to begrudge them that they can come through me.

They were married in the presence of a great deal of loving family and friends including their young son Luke. He is incredibly well behaved and good natured. He has to be, I don't think he's had a second to himself since he was born. I'm sure the pictures of them all together will be treasured for a long time.

And, with a little bit of luck and a lot of love, so will the marriage. I wish them all the best.

But enough about other people, on to me. Not really, but I did make a dress to wear to the wedding. The top half is a grey butterfly design (last seen here) which didn't come out too well on the pictures, and the bottom is a purple cotton. I'm afraid by the time the picture was taken I was rather sweaty and creased. Still I like the dress.

I used New Look 6457 (view A). Turned out the bodice was huge. It was massive even for my industrial sized boobs. To make it again I'd cut the front panel two sizes smaller and the side and back one size smaller. But as I didn't have that much time I added some ruching on the bust.

This Guide's Guide to Growing Up as a Girl

2009-08-12T08:14:00.005Z

Following on from the last post about Anita and Me, I often wonder what books I would give out to the young people in my life as a sort of crash course. It's easy enough to give a vegan cupcake recipe to the young girl wanting to go vegan or Stitch and Bitch to a beginner knitter. But what about those not so specialist subjects, the ones that intrude on our everyday life?

What about something can persuade them that, yes, feminism is reliant to them and it's nothing to be ashamed of. In fact it can actually help them by letting them know it's okay to stand up for themselves, and to take responsibility for themselves. Granted it's a bit more 101 than my favourite treatments on the subject but just perfect for the 13-16 year olds in my acquaintance. The ones in need of a little 101.

First is He's a Stud, She's a Slut and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know by Jessica Valenti. Granted I'm coming to review it here days after I got rid of my copy . I did find it a bit too 101. That is why I give it up to the gods of book crossing. I did also object quite strongly to one passage: ‘Boobs are not for boys’ …‘boobs are future baby food’. Because in my mind saying boobs are 'for' anyone is taking ownership away from the woman who can do whatever she wants with her boobs.

But, aside from that minor niggle, I think this would be a great first Feminism book for any young woman. It's funny, accessible and deals with their lives not abstract ideas. It's an appetiser. And that is why I bookcrossed it.

Then there is Getting in Touch with Your Inner Bitch which is all about standing up for yourself and being assertive. It tells you the dangers of being Nice (as opposed to genuinely nice) and how you should stand up for yourself.

One example that the book used that especially stood out for me was about condoms. I knew a girl at college who was too Nice to ask the guy to get some, too Nice to get some herself. So she ended up with the morning after pill, and putting both her body and mind at significant risk. She could have done with being a bitch and young women need to know that it is okay to be one too. It, of course, helps that it's a funny, easy to read book.

But, at the end of the day, I think the most necessary piece of advice I'd give to my younger cousins is this Dorothy Parker verse:

The Lady's Reward

Lady, lady, never start
Conversation towards your heart;
Keep your pretty words serene;
Never murmur what you mean.
Show yourself, by word and look,
Swift and shallow as a brook.
Be as cool and quick to go
As a drop of April snow;
Be as delicate and gay
As a cherry flower in May.
Lady, Lady, never speak
Of the tears that burn your cheek-
She will never win him, whose
Words had shown she feared to lose.
Be you wise and never sad,
You will get your lovely lad.
Never be serious or true,
And your wish will come to you-
And if that makes you happy, kid,
You'll be the first it ever did.

Believe me, I've tried it. So perhaps I should get them all a Portable Dorothy Parker instead.

Edit: Both my girl cousins are white, straight and able bodied. So that effects my recommendations a lot.

A big pile of books about India

2009-08-10T08:45:00.002Z

I want to start today in India. And not just because I want to be waking up to breakfast at Sangam rather than a pile of washing.

I’ve been reading a few books that have India in common lately. From the library Haunting Bombay and Anita and Me, Oxfam bought me The Counting House and I managed to snag an early reviewers copy of Life of Pi (yes, I know it isn't new! There was a copy of Brideshead Revisited on the list a month back too. Still I'm not going to complain about a free book...)

We'll start with Haunting Bombay by Shilpa Agarwal. It's the one I finished last night and the one that stays in India. Set in 1960's Bombay it tells the story of the Mittal family who are haunted by their drowned baby. It is a ghost story, a story about Hindu superstition and the Mittal family trying to vanquish their ghost. Maji, the overbearing matriarch, using every trick in the book to keep her family safe.

But there is a background noise that keeps getting louder. It whispers about gender, sexuality, colonisation, superstition, sexism. Pinky Mittal's mother was killed in partition, two servants - sisters - lost their parents to famine. The superstition that saves the family from the ghost causes misery and ruined lives. Maji's perfect family is helped along by corrupt officials, poor workers, and gently bending the lives and desires of family members until they become one with the goals of the family.

All of this is done with a feather light touch. Themes are introduce, imperceptibility woven in and tied up neatly at the end. The writing is delicate and sublime and very much recommended.

Next up is Meera Syal's Anita and Me. Between the awards and the film there isn't much new I can say. But that has never shut me up before. Set in a small Midlands town in the 60's this is the story of Meena growing up in the only family that isn't white.

It took me a while to get used to the writing. I was, a bad habit, trying to race on ahead instead of slowing down to savour the sweet, conversational tone. Once I did I enjoyed it. A lot. It reminded me of what the world looked like when I was a ten year old. Not literally but it had the same 'what's going on here', 'I'm board', 'am I adopted' angst that comes about with adolescence.

I'd like to make this required reading for all of my teenage cousins. It's funny, sweet, and could probably explain why they aren't allowed shaved heads at school better than I ever could.

Immigration again, this time to Guyana in the nineteenth century with David Dabydeen's The Counting House. I have to say I've found it hard but time apart from the book has me thinking about it in a new light. It is crude, the characters speak in a stilted English and I found that difficult to read. Once I got into it I found the story bewitching, definitely well crafted but by the end I was unfulfilled.

Okay, on to the free book! Life of Pi. Yes, the one about the boy lost at sea with a tiger. I enjoyed reading it. It's a very enjoyable book. As usual, I enjoyed the set up more than the part where things happen. All the talk of religion, zoology, family life I enjoyed it much more than the bit on the life boat, even if it did involve a tiger. It's beautifully written, almost painted, and an enjoyable read

The missing link

2009-08-07T09:30:00.003Z

Posting yesterday reminded me of all the stuff around the house that I made but never managed to post about. Probably because it was ordinary, probably because moving in here and making the rooms nice took some time, probably because I never think I'm worth it. But there is lots of stuff round here that I've made and that I'm proud of. This one sits on top of yesterday's desk. It's my 'Bitch In Kitchen' sampler from Subversive Cross Stitch. It's framed in a plain black number from incredibly subversive BHS and stitched in imposing black cotton with delicate DMC linen love hearts.

Thrifty Thursday: Renovating

2009-08-06T13:07:00.003Z

This one has been done for a while now but like any desk it attracted piles of crap the second it was usable. Today I shuffled the crap off it and gave it a quick dust down.

We found the desk one night after I'd left Oxfam and picked Stephen up from work. It had a sign saying 'this is free' on it and we stopped to look. Almost immediately the owners came out to give us it's complete history and to beg us, once more, to take it.

Okay then! It then became my project. First I attacked it with sand paper (Father Christmas, are you listening? I want a bloody belt sander this year! My arms ached for days) then I touched up the varnish and gave the side panels and the inside some of this cute wallpaper.

It's my desk. I had grand visions of settling the household accounts on them. Reckoning up the bills, paying the scullery maid. But even if we had a scullery maid Stephen would be in charge of paying her. He can actually tell numbers apart.

So I use it for two things, Guide programme planning and book storage. Both of which are fine by me. Especially with my big stack of adventure 100 booklets on it!

A depressing read

2009-08-04T13:25:00.002Z

So I mentioned in passing in my last post that I have a library card now. For anyone who knows me they could be forgiven for wondering why now. Why only now?

I’m a confirmed passionate and speedy reader, I love books and I love words. Even my usual defence – that I like to own them because then I can read them again whenever I want – doesn’t really work.

It may be the usually defence, but it isn’t a truthful one. The fact is that I am, and always have been terrified of libraries. Now I have no idea why and no reason to search my childhood memories for a clue so I’ll spare you that bit. I actually want to talk about reading and self esteem.

One particularly large part of my terror comes from the way I find Libraries like private members clubs. Have you ever been into a café where you got looked at funny for needing to look at the menu? For me this is a source of real anxiety. Not necessarily – in the case of the café – where I’m actually being looked down upon but where I feel I could be.

Libraries, especially my current one, are generally pleasant, helpful places and yet I couldn’t just walk in alone and ask for a card. When we got up to the counter I couldn’t talk at all. Shamed into silence Stephen had to do the talking.

I’m terrified over being judged about the books I read too. I love a good conversation about books so I don’t mind the person behind the desk offering an opinion. And to be honest I’m fine with being thought snotty because of what I read. I know I’m not, that’s fine.

What I’m terrified of is people seeing what I’m reading and thinking me inexperienced or just plain dumb. I’m terrified of them saying ‘haven’t you read that yet.’ Honestly, that is why I never bought my own copy of Hitchhikers, I waited to be given one. I’m only giving that example because I already have a copy, there are others that I’ve been to afraid to pick off the shelf.

Which brings me back to where I am now. I took two books out of the library Saturday, read them and then replaced them with two more works of fiction yesterday. I’m now half way through one. The gluttony is a result of not being able to afford books for a while and limiting myself to a snails pace. But I’m wondering: am I doing it right?

I ran into a book on Librarything. Accidentally. It’s a list of books that you should read to improve your mind with essays about them. More than just bringing up the old question of cannon again (once I was a literature student…) it gave me a guilty sickly feeling in my stomach.

This feeling reminded me at once that I wasn’t reading well enough. Perhaps I’m not even good enough to read. My library doesn’t mach the 1001 books list close enough to have an intelligent conversation. Anyone who talks to me about books will quickly learn I know nothing about them.

I stop myself, pull myself up and I realise: this is yet another way my depression and low self esteem is taking away something I enjoy. Now I’ve recognised it, can I ignore it?

Reasons to Run

2009-08-03T12:38:00.003Z

I want to take up running. Two reasons here. One is that I need something to do, the other is that my Sims run and watching them do it is making me feel guilty.

So I decide to break in my new Library Card with a book about running (for every interest that I have, there is a book on it) and finding that ‘Running for Triathlons’ or ‘Running a Marathon’ are a bit more intense than what I’m after I take out ‘Running made easy’

I should have just handed in my self esteem while I’m at it. The first reason they give for why you need to run is ‘a better body’ okay, some people may be into that, my reason is listed too. No need to get bent out of shape.

Oh yes there is because in the nice green why run section: ‘50% of adults… are overweight or obese’ Okay, so? So what if people are fat, it’s not an illness, it’s not a crime, it doesn’t mean they aren’t fit, it doesn’t mean they don’t run. Luckily though the authors are 100% sure that by reducing your calorie intake and excising you (yes you!) will loose weight.

Bearing in mind that that is a magnificent oversimplification that works in real life as much as… well something that doesn’t work very often I have no interest in loosing weight. I actually, actively don’t want too. I’ve lost weight. I don’t have a job that provides me with a cooked breakfast and pasty money anymore. And oddly, when I did, I was more than happy with my (larger) shape and size.

But now I’ve stopped making beds for a living I’ve stopped getting the exercise. I’m no longer constantly lifting, dragging and carrying. I’m also getting depressed. I can’t stop that, but I can distract myself. I can give myself something to do. I can run.

Luckily there is also a chapter on how running fixes your self esteem and confidence. Considering at the moment it’s taking a prescription, volunteer work and a boyfriend to hold my hand I’m looking forward to that one. Unless it turns out that there isn't a miraculous cure that either...

I need money!

2009-07-21T13:22:00.025Z

It was a good idea at the time. I was hunting through the Centenary website when I came across the advertisement for Ultimate Edinburgh. They describe it as a glamorous city break and it probably will be with the ball, and castle trip although what I was mostly thinking was that it's in the UK. This makes it cheaper.

I had the money for a deposit in my hands and I'd just sent off a pile of job applications so why not. I had hope.

Now I don't. I still don't have a job but this is an once in a lifetime trip. A once in a hundred years trip. So I'm pulling up my socks and trying to raise money in anyway I can.

Therefore I am proud to announce the launch of my new, first, and probably only jewellery line. The earrings are £4 a pair. If you want something in a different colour or a matching necklace bracelet or handbag it can be done. Just let me know.

Chandelier earrings hanging from a beautiful silver central piece. Beautifully coloured fire polished beads hang delicately down. Available in Blue/Pink and Green/Blue.

Captive bead earrings with various Japanese seed beads hanging from silver rings. Creates a lovely cascading effect. Available in Blue with Purple Finish, Clear with Blue Centre, Red and White with Silver Centre.

Cute dice earrings. Three strands of dice beads and vintage clear crystal beads with aurora borealis effect. Available in Purple/Blue/Black or Green/Blue/White.

Stylish drop earrings. Dramatic double drop red hearts on silver, cute double drop flowers with green fire polished bead on silver, and funky purple glass beads on wire. There is also a string of stylish vintage faceted beads with aurora borealis finish.

And then I ran out of beads! I'm also planning to sell cakes and do a quiz sheet. I'll sit on babies, do a bit of mending, hell I'll even take in ironing. I'm only after money to cover the trip and transport not a ball gown or anything mad and if I manage to make more than I need then it will be put into unit funds.

Perfect for halloween in may

2009-05-26T20:21:00.004Z

A few months ago I made up a little song about how I could feel summer coming. It annoyed boyfriend so I kept singing it.

"Summer's coming, I can feel it"

And I can feel it. That is why I knit myself... a scarf. Okay so it basically got cold enough to wear my woollies for two weeks this past winter. It is a mild climate here and I had a physical job in a freakishly heated place. So I didn't really need a scarf but now.

Now it's a baking south west summer. But I camp and summer is the perfect time for that. And midnight is not the perfect time for nipping out for the loo.

So it's helpful to have the gloves and scarfs by the sleeping bag (I sleep in the hat). When I pull my self out of it in middle of the night, desperate to pee it won't feel so bad.

As a bonus this scarf is so bright anyone can see me coming. Yes the idea for this scarf was conceived staring at a wall of brightly coloured acrylic in the 98p shop. And say what you like about it nothing takes up the colour of freakishly bright orange like acrylic.

It's a ball of black and orange dk weight, 100% acrylic a total of £1.96. Knit in a chevron pattern alternating the colour every other row. I continued until it was boyfriend height (6'1" and a bit) And god is it trashy. I love it.

From the Garden...

2009-05-19T15:35:00.004Z

I'm attempting to keep our laundry sweet smelling with the dried flowers of a rescued lavender. It took me the entire length of an episode of Gilmore Girls to sew this together so it isn't incredibly impressive. Two circles of leftover fat quarter, decorated with spare buttons whip stitched together with the occasional seed bead. It smells lovely, too bad its new home is the linen draw.

Sample Science

2009-04-01T18:30:00.004Z

Darwin in my boyfriends favourite scientist. He changed the world, he watched nature, he was a nice bloke and they both did badly at Cambridge. This year marks his 200th birthday and the 150th anniversary of the publication of the Origin of Species. A number of things are happing in the UK. The boyfriend has been enjoying the specials on the BBC. I designed this Darwin sampler two nights ago and have been stitching furiously since. Boyfriend is very happy with it and we're going to hang it in the office. I like it too. I was thinking of offering it for sale, possibly as a series. What do you think?

A beginners guide to acting

2009-03-03T16:49:00.006Z

Often it's hard to feel like you are truly doing something in the world. It's even harder, once you feel inspired, to start.

How is it that you can make a difference? How can you stop the council from removing trees from a park? Where the hell do you find a feminist book club? I don't have a clue. So I turned to books for the answers.

How to Save the World in Your Spare Time is written by environmental activist Elizabeth May. It is based on her Democracy 101 lessons given to Canadian activists. There is an unmistakable Canadian bent but a UK reader will still find it useful.

The tag line on the back 'Got five minutes? You can save the world!' reminds me of an old Guiders joke. An old advertising campaign asked people to volunteer one hour a week. Considering most Guide meetings last longer than that without mentioning planning and residentials most volunteers found that insane. Indeed the last chapter is about the joys of devoting your life (that is, all of it) to activism.

Still it inspires you with ideas, advice and tried and tested techniques. There is guidance on starting a group, writing press releases, creating petitions and even such topics as civil disobedience.

Although this book is written from the perspective of environmental campaigns it can be used by people pursuing other issue. Although I suppose loggers may be put off.

My second book came firmly from a feminist bent. Jennifer Baumgardener and Amy Richards' Grassroots: A Field Guide for Feminist Activism.

It's definitely inspiring but isn't quite as full of practical advice. Some of the same ideas are covered such as how to start a group but the focus is more on how to find activism in your everyday life rather than making activism your life.

It has a narrower audience too. The narrative created by the chapters is very American (and, I'm told, middle class, New York focused). It takes us from activism in high school, college, the workplace. But a scatted, unfocused chapter is also included on activism and art.

Throughout the book pieces of advice are broken up by people who have actually tried them. Sometimes it went well other times groups fizzled out or the person burnt out. This is fantastic to hear for anyone who ever wondered if the activist was super human.

I'm left feeling inspired by both works. Grassroots offers me the advice I need for working on an individual level and How To Save The World... gives me advice for achieving the impossible.

I'm glad Grassroots said there was more to do than write letters, donate money and volunteer. It makes me stop feeling like a bad feminist for not being able to afford £5 a month for the Fawcett society. Although I do wish the more simple, elementary things like how to write to representatives were covered. But if you are looking for ways to get involved both books give plenty of ideas.

And following advice I'm planning something fun for International Women's Day.

Award winning embroidery

2009-02-03T19:28:00.006Z

I designed and stitched this piece for a festive competition on Creative Torbay. And I won. I don't know if it was because I was the only person that entered or not but I did win.

It's largely inspired by the falsity of celebrating Christmas early, in a hotel in Devon. Not a profound though but I hope it's an amusing picture. I'm especially proud of the pudding.

A Sunday on the sewing machine

2008-10-06T19:48:00.005Z

There is something scary about the fact that I moved here without my fabric stash and yet I’ve managed to build up a big enough one to think that I want to make a handbag in bed one morning and have it done without leaving the house.

I made this on Sunday out of the fabric leftover from the ruffles on the reconstructed skirt, the black fabric in the flower is from the trousers cut up to make it as well. That trim I bought on the card at Totnes and the button is from deep in the stash.

The bag fits the book(s) that I carry about with me and the length of the straps means that it dangles above my bum without me having to worry.

Small Progress

2008-10-03T19:19:00.002Z

When I found this pattern on vintage transfer finds I had two thoughts in my head. One was oooooh mini quilt and the other was oooooh cute. So I printed it off and picked up some fat quarters in a British seasideish theme. It thought it fitted the boy bears stripy jacket and… well I live at the British seaside.

I’ve finally finished the embroidery. It’s mostly chain stitch with satin stitch for the jacket and seed stitch instead of flowers on girl bears dress. The flower in her hair is a wonky lazy daisy and some French knots. And yes that appalling handwriting is mine.

Now all that needs to be done is washing, ironing, cutting, patching, quilting and hanging. Check back in about… well you know what I’m like.

Garden Paths

2008-10-02T20:12:00.000Z

Short skirts. Me. Me + short skirt = ?

Ordinarily I keep to above the knee. There are a few reasons why; one is that I really don’t like to wear anything I can’t bend over in and the other is that I can still remember that when I was ten my Mum said I had chicken legs.

There have been lapses in my above the knee rule. I remember trying to sneak out of Tom’s (remember him?) parent’s house without them seeing my dangerously short skirted lolita inspired dress. As I passed through the streets of London one man called me Cinderella but I remained self conscious the entire time. I simultaneously thought my legs looked ugly and was worried by the extra male attention. The dress was a work of art, I hadn’t the confidence for it.

It’s been two years since then and I don’t know what has changed. I actually wanted a short skirt. Shorter skirt, I’m not the type of person that would regularly wear something I couldn’t bend over in. I suppose I feel less ashamed of my appearance, not because it changed at all but because I’m working on the principal that I’d rather live than worry about it.

So when I saw this skirt on the Oxfam racks I was open to it. It is black, it’s slightly ruffley, it’s got lace and unfinished edges. Perfect skirt, even missing an inch or two. £7.99 from Oxfam, picture taken in the front garden by Stephen.

Autumn Bag

2008-09-26T20:16:00.004Z

I was once one of those people who would never quilt. Never. It's too hard. But then when you leave the wool/bead/fabric Mecca that is the border country of the South Pennines you take what fate throws at you.

Fate threw Sewing the Seeds a patchwork shop. There I've never been mocked for spending too little, or too much and I've been offered hot chocolate. My visits have turned weekly. From there I bought this Monkey Buttons pattern, two fat quarters and a metre and set out to sew the bag.

Of course I'd never quilted before...

The instructions where ridiculously confusing. Especially for the gusset. Once I realised it was trying to say make a gusset I was fine but I expect it is written for a quilter making bags not a sewer making quilted thing.
I messed up my 1/4 inch. Then I decided to keep it constantly messed up. My bag is a bit stretched but no problem.
I didn't trim the excess lining material and wadding before I quilted. So the edges look scruffy.

Intentionally though I did leave out the zip. All in all I'm rather pleased with myself and the bag. Especially with the colours. It's a very Autumn bag even if, on it's début, the weather was so nice I got to lie on the grass and read until I was almost asleep. That's why this is my favourite season.

It's not funny!

2008-09-25T15:02:00.002Z

I’m not sure of the story behind these but the instant I saw them I knew that they where a once in a lifetime thrifty find. This is no dress, no book, this is a set of green balls. I’m told the same effect can be achieved with copper underpants but you couldn’t decorate with them. You knew it was going to happen.

The original plan was to paint them purples and then hang them in Stephen’s room but since we have plans, and now a mortgage, for a flat then I guess I’ll put them in another colour and hang them there.

I have no idea if it’s part of a fast food restaurant, a very funky persons home, or a piece of recycled dalekanium but I had to have it. The price, if I remember right was 6.99 from the PDSA shop in Torquay. But where else can you find another one?

I've not got a head for numbers...

2008-09-11T19:47:00.003Z

“making the creation and possessorship of a good hat possible for any woman with clever fingers” Elizabeth Bowen

Today’s thrifty Thursday wasn’t terribly thrifty ay £14.99. I was, in fact, quite extravagant. But it’s an ancient millinery book. I like hats, I like vintage clothes, I can’t afford hats, I definitely can’t afford vintage hats. So I was thinking the right thoughts.

Oddly enough what attracted me to this book was the introduction by Elizabeth Bowen, mainly because I thought I had something by her in my to be read pile. I was mistaken but my eyes travelled up and I saw the word millinery. Judging by the introduction Bowen should go in my to be read pile.

Aside from the entertaining introduction there are sections on measurements, tools, caps (sectional, not baseball), beret, felt hats, straw hats, turbans and trimmings. There are so many different styles and variations that I felt like jumping up and down with excitement. There is even a section on historical hats for the theatre.

Much has been said about how confusing vintage craft books can be. Not so here, with it’s simple instructions and goal of simplifying and popularising hat making it reads like a slightly more formal stitch and bitch.

All in all £15 well spent.

“Let this book be your guide to the Good Hat.” Elizabeth Bowen

Minor reconstruction works

2008-09-08T08:24:00.003Z

The first project has been sitting about for a bit. Since I left Huddersfield to be exact. In a closing down sale I got incredible discounts on a plain black hoodie and a white t-shirt with a winky face. I knew I wanted to do the white running stitch, I’d fell in love with this simple technique on the streets of Manchester. After I’d decided to put the ‘patch’ on the back I was going to make some kitty ears out of the leftover jersey knit but I moved to Torquay before I had time without my scraps. Photographed last Thursday in the garden.

The second piece is also from that sale however I was using it as a plain black shirt while I still needed one at work. After they upgraded me to a smock I broke out the sewing machine and some ribbon I had bought at another sale to create the Lolita inspired ruffle down the front. I would cite the Japanese shirt that I ripped off but I have forgotten it by now. Photographed this Saturday at St Mary’s Church in Totnes, both by Stephen.

Stress of summer dresses

2008-09-04T18:09:00.005Z

There was something really terrible about dresses this summer. I actually went into a few shops prepared to pay full price for a new one and they where all too ugly. Autumn has brought some dresses with the annual Goth revival and the thing about ruffles but summer? Summer sucked.

Luckily I picked this one up for £4.99 in Scope in Torquay. Beautiful dress, sequins, embroidery, shirring… the woman who took the cash off me said she bet that it would suit me, boyfriend said it’s ‘cutes’ and I love it. Pictures in the garden.

Like anyone would ask me for advice…

2008-09-03T19:48:00.005Z

“Dear Auntie Clare,

I love all the wonderful things that people find in thrift shops but I go into my local shop and… it smells, it smells of stale musty old clothes and meat and potato pies. How can I get gorgeous second hand clothes?

Imogen”

“Dear Auntie Clare,

I’m in need of something specific although I just don’t have time to shop for it. A pair of size 12 jeans. I can’t afford organic but I know I should do something to help the environment so I figured charity shop was the way to go. If they aren’t there next week I’m going to go to New Look!

Hippy in a Hurry”

“Dear Auntie Clare,

I’m new at this goth game. What the hell? All the websites say to check second hand stuff but the charity shops near me don’t get any black in ‘til autumn. Don’t say I have to go back to orange.

Randomly Made up Person”

Actually none of them are made up. They are all me at some point in time. I’m quite lucky where I live now but in the past I haven’t had the decent location, or the will power to go into the same stinky shop week after week for one excellent find. I do currently get my pick of a nice selection of non-stinky charity shops.

I volunteer with one. I’m working with Oxfam at the moment to put some of their stock online. Very decent stuff. Not shabby at all. To demonstrate I have stolen some pictures. These are the links to the items so if they are broken then they are sold. A Wedding Dress, a goth top and cute pink t-shirt (I photographed that one)

Sure you have to wade through some tat and some volunteers are better at listing and taking pictures than others but there is some fantastic stuff up with more to come. As the site hasn’t been shown round the press yet a host of improvements are expected in the next few months. Anyway, I really believe in this project so please check it out.

If I only looked good in a beehive

2008-08-31T19:32:00.003Z

I knew when I put this outfit together that it was a bit odd. For some reason I elected to look a little odd. Throwing together my black shirt which I use to look smart, the shrug/booby holder I use to look a bit more bohemian and a skirt I just reconstructed to look a bit industrial/Bet Lynch/punk is not the most sane idea I’ve ever had.

But them I don’t think the skirt was a sane idea either. At work I dropped some bleach on my trousers, my first insane move. Then I thought I’d convert them into a skirt to save money. Which involved putting on leopard print ruffles so I had to go out and buy leopard print fabric. At £6 for one meter, to save money.

No it doesn’t make sense but it’s a lovely skirt. Photos by Stephen in Armada Park.

It's a new blog feature!

2008-08-28T16:00:00.003Z

Other on the other blog we do something called wild Wednesdays. This is thrifty Thursday. I’m going to brag about a thrifty find, something second hand whether vintage, thrifted or dumpster dived. This week is a Chinese-inspired top form Monsoon. 45% silk and £7.99 in the local Oxfam. Good bless them. I found the top when I went in to inquire about volunteering. I get the feeling helping out there will cost me more money. The pictures where taken by Stephen in Cockington. Poses are my own.

Soap and Stitches

2008-08-24T17:18:00.003Z

Sometimes, despite all the homesickness and knowing I don’t live alone anymore (and can’t pick my nose when I please), I’m really glad to be in Torquay. Like this morning when I found out I wasn’t working Stephen and I said let’s go to Cockington.

Cockington is home to nice trees, a country park, a playground, a pub and several craft workshops. We check them out quite regularly but this weekend we’ve seen things we never have before.

Yesterday the soap makers where about and Stephen got me some peppermint and pumice foot soap. I know it sounds like an insulting gift but I wear crocs, walk 45 minutes to get to work and spend my day standing there. I need special industrial strength foot soap.

More out of conventional kindness he bought me a needle book from the embroidery exhibition that they where having this weekend. That’s actually to protect his feet. I also snapped a picture of one of the pieces on display, a beautiful Celtic knot handbag stitched with variegated cotton in stem stitch. I want to have a go at that.

Watching the flowers grow

2008-08-23T15:47:00.003Z

I tend to start projects and not end them. I have UFOs, but I also have a wardrobe. Everything in my wardrobe is unfinished. One day I can decide it needs a new embellishment, a repair or throwing into the scrap bag for future use.

This skirt started life as a roll of fabric some 9 months ago. It was actually leftover from another – unsuccessful - project. The pattern was from Yeah I Made It Myself and the skirt had been comfortable worn, taken off, washed and worn again a few times.

Then I decided that it could do with a few funky roses on the bottom broke out the patterns (from Sublime Stitching) my hoop, floss and needle and got to work. Now it looks like this. The stems were embroidered freehand.

Happiness is sometimes a slice of pizza

2008-08-22T09:23:00.005Z

I’m having one of those moments of awareness. You know when you see something and it chimes with you. You say ‘yeah that’s a problem and it sucks’ then as the days pass you hear it more and more. Something that you always knew was a problem is shown as a massive concern.

What brought this all on is this Ask Aunty Fatty post. A woman writes in to ask how she can stop grief eating, Aunty Fatty points out that if she does have a binge eating problem she can deal with it later, right now she shouldn’t feel too guilty because she is going through some seriously crap stuff. So comfort eating. I’m not talking about people who have eating disorders here, I’m talking about something all of us do. I’m talking about having a chocolate bar when you are feeling down, eating mac and cheese when you are feeling homesick, saying it’s because I’m PMSing or a thousand other things.

Comfort eating isn’t a problem for me. Oh I do it, I do it bloody often, but it isn’t a problem and I don’t view it as a problem because sometimes I need a little bit of comfort. Most of the time my diet is reasonable well balanced and I exercise often, even if it isn’t in a gym. I’m kind of healthy. I’m not supper healthy but I’m not ill, injured and I get my vitamins. But sometimes the balance gets upset for one reason and another.

I’m constantly upsetting my balance. Probably has something to do with the depression. While suffering from that depression and juggling with my dosage I was walking around Huddersfield on my way home from, of all things, receiving my certificate that said I was now a qualified Girl Guide Guider. I was happy, a little lonely after the long bus journey. Then some very drunk girl called me a ginger bitch.

Then I went home, cried about it, and was miserably unhappy. I was having thoughts about not ever getting out of bed again and death and all sorts of unhappy shit. When the sane half of my brain finally managed to talk me round I got up and did three things guaranteed to make me a little cheerful. First I sent an email to Stephen (in our pre-boyfriend-girlfriend days) then I decided which disk of the Jeeves and Wooster box set would be most likely to cheer me up then I went out and bought junk food.

It would be more effective to work on my self esteem, figure out my medication, or at least dye my hair a nondescript colour but I needed a quick fix, I wanted a pizza and I like my hair. The balance can be sorted out when I don’t need to buy myself 3 hours of unhealthy Jeeves and Wooster filled happiness.

Have you ever walked a tightrope? I haven’t. I’ve done it on the Wii though, your weight slips to one side and the little guy on the screen starts panicking. What you then have to do is acknowledge that and, as soon as you can, try and get your balance to the middle again. What you can’t do is dwell on the fact that you are off balance, otherwise the little guy falls.

What I mean by that extended metaphor is to say yes, acknowledge that you are eating too much pizza but don’t dwell on that. Sometimes you need too much pizza. You can go back to pizza in moderation later, when you aren’t so sad or angry or just in need of a treat.

Or in the words of Aunty Fatty:

“And if it turns out that this doesn’t help, and you really do just need to eat nachos and ice cream for a few months, while you get through what is probably the most difficult time in your life? Then by god, you eat nachos and ice cream for a couple of months”

Vintage flower buttons and broken hearts

2008-07-24T10:04:00.003Z

I work as a maid. It’s not a bad jobs as jobs go and I’m not really one to care too much about what I do. When I started working as a maid I realised I wouldn’t be able to wear bracelets and the like. So that is when I became an earring convert. I made these three pairs in the last two weeks. The diamond shapes, the heart beads and the red and black crystals are new. Findings and ‘wire’ is from the stash and scrap bucket.

Silver shapes with red and black crystals draped below

Yellow and brown buttons from a job lot I bought a couple of years ago

Wire wrapped little red love hearts

Long Time

2008-07-17T13:33:00.008Z

I’ve just moved to Torquay to live with my boyfriend Stephen but before that we where in a long distance relationship. I made this shrine to commemorate our first two weekends together and remind myself what we look like. The picture is one that he had taken and emailed to me. I printed it off and laminated it for protection and extra shiny. I glued it to a jewellery box that a birthday present came in. The second I saw this I knew it was destined to become a shrine. The red glitter round the edges holds no special significance other than it being red and shiny.

The map and list of the train stops are for the train we used to take, four and a half hours at a time, to reach each other.
The hands holding in the top are from a young persons rail card application form.
The Chimp and the Orangutan are from Chester Zoo which we visited for my birthday.
Tiny love hearts are punched out of a Vimto label because he drank Vimto for the first time because of me.
That tiny little puppy is one of The 101 Dalmatians which we watched on DVD.

Ten purple bottles...

2007-04-28T08:22:00.000Z

I've really been bitten by the bug here. The beads are from Bijoux Beads and got here in super fast speed. 24 hours and I was working with them. I made two.

The second one was made in a fit of insomnia. I made the beads from verdilak's tutorial over on Craftster.

Something about dieing hard...

2007-04-26T13:13:00.000Z

Crafts are addictive. Before internet shopping came into my life I had two big addictions, knitting and making jewellery.

Jewelery supplies where mainly bought from The Bead Shop in Manchester. The necklace is the result of my last visit.

Only that's a train ride away, a train ride I make less and less often. So I stopped. But now. But now I can buy bead in Huddersfield. And I have. And so the gloomy earrings were born.

The red bracelet is product of some recycling.

Speaking of recycling. The box is where I'm keeping little bags of seed beads. It was going to have a green heart but I didn't have any green glitter. So I used some red. So instead of being the 'I'm super madly envious' box it's the little box of (slightly morbid) hope. Or something.

The ribbon headband is an adorable project from the craftster book. I have a second one made up for Louise.

My Cupcake and Me

2007-04-15T17:40:00.000Z

When I was walking in the Irwell I realized that I didn't have a picture of my top. It's Simplicity 3835 which is a Built by Wendy creation. There's more embroidery too, a cupcake.

Floral Friday

2007-04-13T11:33:00.000Z

So the flower fabric has been turned into things. With some patches left over.

First is the A-Line skirt. Same pattern as the houndstooth bellow. I owe my life to Eithne Farry. Especially as the bag is indebted to her instructions on making a gusset. It was made big enough for knitting. Then I made a pocket on the front. After I'd sewn it up mind. So that was a bitch, not to mention the channels for the knitting needles on the front (made for 5mm and 10mm)

I'm also indebted to Jenny Heart today. I finally bought Sublime Stitching and I want to order at least half the stock off the website (the camping theme would be great for Guides). I'm in the process of reconing a fleece jumper and turning it into shrug so I put a rose on the back of it. My second project shall appear shortly.

Also: seen a ladybird!

100% progress

2007-01-25T12:35:00.000Z

The knitting of the jacket is going okay but the slow movement of a mass of black wool isn't really fun to take pictures of. Instead I'd like you to meet my new sewing machine, Dolly.

I bought her from a shop on Imperial Arcade, my new favorite Huddersfield street, and have been gushing and working on simple sewing projects ever since.

One of the first things I did was sew some lace round a dress. Not just any dress. The dress started, at least twenty years ago, as a dress my Nan bought. She bought two. The second unaltered one has become The Black Dress of my wardrobe. And I have lots of black dresses - Slutyer ones, shorter ones, gothyer ones – but that one is The Black Dress. The dress I wore last valentines day. The Dress.

I like it, okay?

Nan didn't like it so much. She sewed up the split and turned the hem up. Possibly on the very machine that I played under when I was a kid. I made up characters for her bobbins and massive spools of thread (stuff likely got cheep from nearby factories) and had them interact and gave them complex social structures.

I got the dresses and I have intended to decorate the smaller dress for years. I gave it a bit of lace and I'll probably embroider or appliqué something on the front.

But until I decided on that I needed some skirts. The first I made was a red houndstooth a-line skirt. Pattern courtesy of Yeah I made it myself.

Then I found some funky fabric on an Asian fabric stall on the market. £10 for a suit so I have a purple, a sheer black with... those flowerey things, and a purple with sparkles. I popped the sheer black on top of the purple and made 'A Fairly Gathered Drawstring Shirt' from the same book.

After visiting the Maritime Museum I ended up with a wonderful shirt that said “100% Cotton” I'm from Heywood, it was on sale, we were made for each other. Only I had to resize it, punk it up ('ties to die for' from Generation T), and goff it up by embroidering a little skull on it. Then I noticed my heart shirt was looking a little small. So I pulled off the collar and cuffs and put in some ruffles. And girly bows.

Yesterday we went to the Musbury factory shop and my Dad, very kindly, bought me some fabric he hated. Would the red/black/white one be too much as a dress? And if that isn't enough I'm also in the process of Mod Podging some news print onto old ballet flats.

Back to bed

2007-01-17T13:27:00.000Z

You see what I did?

Well now Christmas is over, and a week before for essays, and a week after for getting back into things and the blog is back. I did have an extremely long picture filled post about my holiday in Northumberland but there when some connection issues involving my PDA and my Dads computer and now it's dead.

So I'm a little disheartened. But then I remembered that this thing is supposed to be about knitting. And I have been knitting. I've primarily been knitting Fragrance which admittedly I bought because it was on sale. Thing is though that I'm a big fan of Kim Hargreaves, both the designer and the company. I can look through her designs (both now and in Rowan books) and see a mixture of contemporary and traditional styles and materials that I can see when I open up my wardrobe. You can ask the ex how I gushed for days after my first order (which I still haven't knit, bad me) and my confirmation email had a PS saying how they could have dropped it in because I was so close.

Fragrance has everything I look for in clothes. It's a jacket and I love jackets, it's fun to knit and I like things that are fun to knit, and it looks fun to wear. I'd like to stick up for bulky knits on big girls. At least ones shaped like me. My favorite cardigan it the whole world was bulky. As long as I don't go over an 8mm needle I think it looks good.

2006-12-08T17:32:00.000Z

"When it comes to our essential values - belief in democracy, the rule of law, tolerence, equal treatment for all, respect for this country and its shared heritage - then that is where we come together, it is what we hold in common."

Tony Blair, giving lip-service to attacking extremism while making people feel threatened. Including me.

Secret Santa

2006-12-04T08:40:00.000Z

Merry Christmas!

It's a secret!

Yay!

Wednesday, in purple

2006-11-15T12:33:00.000Z

Yesterday, whilst watching Jeeves and Wooster on DVD, I finished my Yoke Vest. Finally, I here you cry. Yes, Finally! It will need to wait for two weeks to be blocked. I won't have a spin cycle until I go house sit the weekend after next. I hope some of the rolling will be helped. I don’t mind a bit, because I think it has character, but I didn't want to knit a roll neck.

I have two balls of the polar left and with it I'm making a hat (you can see it on the needles there) and either a bag or a pair of mittens.

Glamour is my new pattern book from the Erika Knight's Collectables collection. Which, judging from the look of Classic, are certainly addictive. I have two patterns on my to knit list -which, admittedly, never gets knit - the Chequered Cloche and the Vintage Handbag.

There is also a knitting in media reference. There was a murder with a knitting needle on Agatha Raisin today. Which you can listen to here for a week or so.

Pornish

2006-11-10T14:27:00.000Z

This is recycled porn. Mohair. I’m at home right now doing some babysitting. So I nave no camera or wool near by. And thanks to everyone who left comments last week. I really appreciate it.

The Season of Colour

2006-11-06T11:18:00.000Z

Do you remember the Kureyon I put in this YPF post? It's now a scarf. Edgar from the Fall 2005 Knitty.

I finished it yesterday morning and have worn it, as often as possible, since then. It's a little hard but I don't find it itchy. Although you can practically wash my skin with a brillo pad before I find something scratchy. Providing it's not my eczema. Plus it has a nice spongy feel. You know, when you squeeze it and it seems to bounce back.

Not that I'm in love with Kureyon. I'm mostly indifferent. I can see that it would annoy me if it was anything bigger than a cravat and the colours combinations, although excellent in concept, are too unpredictable (green, what the fuck? How did you get in here?)

Pattern: Edgar (from Knitty
Yarn: Some form of Kureyon
For: Me
Why: It's bloody cold!
Alterations: None.
Opinion: Great. Warm without being too strangling. I hate tight things against my neck.

Seasonal Porn

2006-11-03T14:21:00.000Z

Today it's autumn. I love autumn. Especially this bit of time between Halloween and bonfire night. Funny masks and fireworks. Toffee apples and treacle toffee. But I didn't manage Halloween this year and I'm not setting off fireworks. And Tom broke up with me yesterday. Still I can't help but feel hopeful. Naively hopeful, perhaps, even blindly hopeful. But still it just feels like there is something in the air. Maybe I'm crazy. Next, of course is Christmas which I do not enjoy. I do enjoy, however, all the trappings of the season. Like snowmen. This snowman is made of Rowan Calmer and Polar. I think that's some of my hair in the Polar.

Which Came First?

2006-10-23T12:41:00.000Z

Either way it's silver dylon paint on a plain black T-shirt.

Virtue may be it's own reward but vice has others

2006-10-17T11:57:00.000Z

I finally have Virtue done. It's shocking how long it took. I think I may stick to crochet for a bit. I'm a bit blah when it comes to knitting at the moment. Just have to ride it out. As long as I get those socks done for… sometime.

Anyway. I was sat watching Red Dwarf and knitting. Knit, knit, knit, watch, watch, watch. And I started squeaking when, nestled in the episode 'Parallel Universe' in series 2, there was a knitting scene. Bah. How have I never noticed this? Lister is sat knitting (or, more accurately, not knitting) a pink and brown… thing on bamboo by the looks of it. I am yet to find any knitting in Yes Minister, my usual accompaniment.

Pattern: Virtue (from It's A Tape Thing)
Yarn: Rowan Cotton Tape in green.
For: Me
Why: To match my new jacket.
Alterations: None.
Opinion: Lovely look. It is longer than it appears, I was just wearing it in a daft way.

Sentimentality (YPF)

2006-10-13T16:04:00.000Z

Old clothes are more than just things we've worn. They are the t-shirt that your parents gave you that no amount of holes will make you give up, the velvet bolero that your Nan gave you and that your Mum ruined by putting in the wash, and the jumper you wore at least once a week but now is so pilled that you don’t want to put it on.

The bondage shirt that I wore on my first day at University was damaged irreparably last (academic) year. I cried. It held memories in its cloth. My first days, in jokes about how annoying the fastenings on my clothes are. It was special when I bought it, reduced but still expensive by my standards. But this was the top I wanted to wear. The top I wanted people to see me in.

Today I want to talk about the jumper. I bought it before Christmas last year. The first time I wore it was too my Aunt's Boxing Day party. The most memorable was on a Sunday 15th of January. Tom and I live far apart so he comes (or I go to him but that's a different story) for the weekend. The first time he came on Saturday. Stayed 'til Sunday 15th. When I wore the jumper. And yes, I can still remember what he wore too.

So the jumper pilled and pilled and pilled. And I needed to keep it. I wanted to recycle it. And I knew I couldn't felt it being all elastain and acrylic. I saw the hat in AlternaCrafts. It's made from sewing the jumper and braiding bits of it. And my jumper has a second life. Most of the pilling was cut out and my new hat looks darling.

My yarn also comes with sentiment attached. That's why my porn is usually accompanied by erotica. But I think I'll leave this one a mystery. Kid Classic.

Progress report.

2006-10-07T10:11:00.000Z

I'd intended, upon my glorious return to university, to finish the finishing on the pattern vest. Only it wouldn’t fit in my first lot of bags and when went home to take it with my second lot of stuff Mum had gutted my room. And two of the things I can’t find now are my knitting and my twelve pack of condoms. I also can’t find my boyfriend who got lost moving in himself last week. (*waves* Miss you!)

I can’t finish the vest. I did finish an Anna I watching The Holy Grail a couple of nights ago. Didn’t blog because of camera battery buggerdness.

Like I said yesterday, I’m knitting a hat to go with my new velvet jacket. It’s actually a better match but the velvet, absorbing more light, didn’t photograph well. It’s a dark green and soft as a freshly killed baby seal (very off colour humour for the sake of any lurking Noggers *waves*)

There will be much knitting.

Darling Buds of October (YPF)

2006-10-06T08:58:00.000Z

I've probably mentioned before how much of a big fan of gimmicks and novelty items I am. Really big one. And in knitting this makes me fall in love with ribbon yarns.

Last weekend my Dad bought me a green velvet jacket as an (early) Christmas present. So I trecked to the craft shop to find some matching wool so I could have a hat. Rowan's Cotton Tape was on sale. I had the pattern book due to an earlier, ill-fated attempt to knit one of the tops in it. So I grabbed two balls in the right colour.

The hat will (hopefully) be blogged about tomorrow

The ill-fated top was supposed to be red. I only got around to unravelling it all last week. These balls are the only evidence of its existence.

When I was in the craft shop I fell in love with my third yarn. The ribbon of the opening paragraph. Sirdar's Organza. At a loss for what to knit with it I picked a simple pattern…

Pattern: Pink Flower (from Sirdar leaflet)
Yarn: Sirdar Organza in red/purple
Ya What: 10sts*13rows, 50m, 50g, 80% polyamide 20% cotton, Lot 94
For: Me
Why: To see how it knit and because flowers are fun.
Alterations: None.
Opinion: Nice, quick, good yarn.

Being Grumpy and Being Woolly

2006-09-29T15:50:00.000Z

Being back at uni isn't inspiring knitting. Inspiring me to skewer people taking English Literature degrees who think only elitist twats study literature and we should be looking at the Spice Girls instead (no really, that's what she said) So let's examine logic here, if the only reason for studying literature is social climbing and not never ever enjoyment what does that make her? There is nothing stopping her from studying popular culture.

What is it with people who don't like to read deciding to read Literature at University? If you want a glory degree English Literature at Huddersfield ain't going to turn many heads.

Yarn Porn Friday is a bit of a bust I'm afraid. I got a poorly tummy and frankly I'm just shattered. All I want to do is lie in bed and watch TV. But I don't have a TV. Anyway here's some Kureyon.

Embrace the Black

2006-09-25T13:32:00.000Z

The reaction to my Yarn Porn Friday post was just brilliant. I moved last week and I just got the internet up in time to post it so I was a bit stressful. Add to that that I dislike wearing stuff made from variegated yarns and I'm don't exactly have a gourmet selection. And the debt that I'm going to be in for the next few weeks, don't forget the debt.

I'm glad you all like it anyhow.

Now I hope you don't think I'm calling myself an expert here, far from it, but I have had a lot of opportunity for trial and error. And on that note I'd like to offer the following suggestions for taking pictures in black.

1. Be aware of the difference in contrast between your view screen/finder and the picture. Mine is a tad lighter on the screen so I aim for a slightly washed out looking shot.

2. If you have a brightness feature it may help you pick up the detail better if you knock it down a few pegs.

3. Natural light. Or as close as possible. A bright sunny day helps but if it's natural you'll be able to get a better idea of colour and detail.

4. If you are going close up make sure you don't block the light. Use the macro feature.

As a big fan of any sort of gimmick I do love the thick/thin squiggly effect thingy although I don't know what a scribbly-gum tree looks like. I would say hi to Birstall but I'm at a loss as to what it is. The town in Leicestershire?

The sock still continues charming.

The Best of Black....

2006-09-22T08:28:00.000Z

And a bright cheery Huddersfield good morning to you all.

Yeah right. It ain't raining but the gods of West Yorkshire do frown on sun. And the blog today had a distinctly West Yorkshire flavour as all my yarns for Yarn Porn Friday come from Holmfirth. Yup they're all Rowan, all stash and all black.

The Lurex Shimmer came in a Kim Hargreaves box. On the email from them it said 'PS: We could have dropped it in Firth Street as we are so close.' Which had me squeaking for days. I've moved off Firth Street now and, although the hat still remains unknit, I'm itching to place more orders.

The Yorkshire Tweed four-ply made the very first knitting post to this blog. Buggerd if I know where the hat is now though. I seem to have misplaced it moving. Although I'm very confident it will show up. I think I made the point in that entry that it was the first yarn I fell in love with.

I started the blog when my interest in knitting was revived by being in a long distance relationship. I didn't want to bore Tom with my projects so up went the blog. That and I wanted the attention. Tom is, of course, spectacularly supportive of my knitting so I guess I didn't need a blog for that reason. But the attention is nice.

The 4-ply Soft of Anna fame. Oh how I love working with it. The picture is of Ms Anna's lace.

Black KSH. When my rapidly deteriorated from cancer, when she died of it, and through her funeral (not the service, I'm not that insanely rude) I knit with KSH. I'll always regret not letting her add a row to my first project. I was too ashamed of the holes. This is Black KSH waiting for inspiration.

Big Wool Tuft. My aunt was with me when I bought this. The small shoulder warming project that I knit with it was knit around family. I think it was somebody's birthday. I ware the project quite a lot. And call it my dead sheep. Affectionately. I was quite sad when the discontinued it.

Happy Yarn Porn Friday.

Keeping things simple

2006-09-14T12:16:00.000Z

My progress bars haven't been moving lately. Mainly because there are two socks so knitting one is 50% and because they are long 25% occurs after 20cms. And then there's Icarus. I'm too self-conscious to blog about it yet.

I also have TV knitting, for late at night or early in the morning when my concentration isn't great. A project where a dropped stitch can be easily fixed is the aim, so garter, stockinette, rib, or a very basic cable is fantastic. Especially when I wake in the night scratching my eczema. Need to sit and wake up to avoid scratching in my sleep and keep my hands busy to keep me from scratching while awake.

My current TV knitting is the finishing for my patterned vest. I picked up the armhole watching Red Dwarf and knit it during Newsnight. I'm back on the vest because I finished a Hot Head hat for my Dad. He's been asking for a hat for ages.

Pattern: Hot Head (Stitch 'n Bitch)
Yarn: Rowan's Yorkshire Tweed Chunky in some brown colour or other
Ya What: 12sts*16rows, 100m, 100g, 100% wool, Lot 19GA [Note to Dad: hand wash and dry flat!]
For: Dad
Why: He asked… oh a year ago?
Alterations: Fudged to make up for the gauge difference.
Opinion: I want one, me! It's such a great length and looks adorable with the brim up.

Modelled pic will hopefully comes when I give it him… and if it fits.

I have a wonderful new book. The Knitting Answer Book by Margaret Radcliffe. I bought it because I have a reoccurring brain fart when it comes to M1. Can not remember it. So I thought I could use a little reference book to pop in my bag. It's so wonderful. I compulsively read it cover to cover.

The book contains tips for the new knitter. It takes you through all the cast-ons, bind-offs, your knits and your purls. Everything a beginner needs. Of course it's much more than that. It offers tips for worming, starting lace, toe up socks, colour work, washing… well everything that an experienced knitter wants to ask to0. There is also a great resource section it the back.

Anyway, it's fantastic

Tails of Huddersfield, Heywood, and Beyond

2006-09-13T10:47:00.000Z

COFFEE AND SOCKS
1

Written By Clare Burgess

SC1. COFFEE SHOP. WOMAN SITS KNITTING HER ANNA SOCK, MAN SITS EATING

MAN: What are you knitting?
WOMAN: A sock
MAN: Just one?

THERE IS NO LAUGHTER

END

Yesterday I got my new keys. And saw my new room. And oh, oh, I'm so excited! I've planned what I'm going to cook next week and put all those cookbooks in the room. Fluffle posed with them but came back. Obviously, I can't leave fluffle. My keys are bleeding heavy now. The move in happens on Sunday.

It was also wet blocking day. I'm taking advantage of still having access to a washing machine that does just a spin cycle. I made a right mess of it. The floor, sink and machine that is. Not the blocking. I accidentally left the tap running and… well we had some awfully wet towels afterwards. And bathroom mats and floor come to think of it. I had to block in the bathroom we still needed to wash up.

I have a bit of old news too. On the 11th September a review of mine appeared. I only found out yesterday. You can read it here.

Books, Breasts, and Forgetfulness

2006-09-11T13:33:00.000Z

I have a system. It is, in actual fact, somebody else's system but I'm not going to mention who in case they'd rather I not.

The system is that if you loose something and can't find you sit or lie down and mope. The action of the moping will cause the thing to be found. It works for us. Which leads me to the moral of my half arsed story. Sometimes it's good to have a tantrum, to mope, to cry, to whinge, to rant. And why am I saying this, today of all days? No fucking clue, I'm actually quite cheerful. In fact I'm running around squeaking because I'm moving out soon!

Oh yeah… knit blog. I'm going to guiltily shuffle my feet over this one because I left my knitting bag at my Mums when I brought some books here. Speaking of books my Librarything now has the majority of my craft books in. So I have a special little craft book thingy bellow my novels. I'm hoping that it will show something other than Stitch 'n Bitch books eventually. Maybe if I hit reload enough.

Anyway. The pictures show the result of frantically trying to pick clothes out to visit Tom the weekend before last. I was getting an early train so I thought it would pay to be efficient. It only made me more neurotic. I couldn't find anything I wanted to wear. So I snipped some holes in a plain black tank fed some ribbon through (recycled from a size 12 corset… what was I thinking, other than not being able to close something past my breasts is a great look) pulled and tied. In the space of a Simpson's episode it went from a sack to a sack that draws attention to my breasts. The idea shamelessly stolen from Generation T

It also appears I got spammed yesterday. I don't delete any comments as a policy (unless they are flaming somebody other than me) so if you are wondering why they are still there, that's why.

In Praise of 4 Ply Soft

2006-09-09T17:52:00.000Z

If I said yummy, yummy, yum, yum, yum well it would be a damn good summery of how I feel.

Let's start with when I bought it. I ripped the yarn out of the bag and gave it a good squeeze. It's so soft. Definitely lives up to its name. It's as squishable as new fallen snow. Only warm and made of wool. And it knit's up fabulously. The four two-plied strands really show the stitch definition. The picture is crap but shows the definition.

Knitting the sock took a bit of practice. I had to rip to the cuff and one of the panels still looks crap. I'm not one for completely ripping so I just fudged it and I'll wear that bit in the back.

'It's just porn Mom…'

2006-09-07T09:15:00.000Z

I had a manic knit a couple of days ago and so I've finally finished the front of my patterned vest! Finally. Alright. I have to do all the finishing but whoooooo. Yes, whoooooo. I bought the wool before I left for uni last year, finished the back in February. Had it on sticks through sickness, death, break-ups, back-together-ups, valentines trips, Christmas, birthday parties. Jesus, I need more will power! And the ability to stick to one project.

To celebrate I went around every haberdashery, fabric and knitting shop and stall in Bury. The silver buttons are for the vest, black fabric for the shawl (must get better scissors I've already mauled it). Leftover fabrics to learn to sew. Or improve really.

My best find though was literally a find. It was in the grass as we where walking my Grandma's dog around Burrs. It's a green and purple (?) Harris Tweed flat cap. I'll take pictures when I've managed to wash it. Although I'm dreading it.

At the moment I'm about to cast on Icarus (yes, that one) and, for something simpler than a lace shawl, Anna the lace socks from the last Rowan.

Yes kids. In black.

Fluffle is in his pocket, all's right with the world

2006-08-28T17:49:00.001Z

So you turn up to a camp site in Wales. And it smells like manure. What do you do? We giggle and drive to the next field, light a fire and have a good time.

The rain kept off on Saturday. The only night I got to knitting around the camp fire. So only an inch in. Got some reading done though.

There are two sorts of book that I love. The first could be finished in an hour if I could read that fast. The second takes time. Time that you need to savour each word and the beauty of the prose. Fudoki was, still is in fact, the latter. I'm enjoying every second of the intricately woven plots, the beauty of the description, the fascinating characters. Johnson doesn't explain her world in that awful, clumsy, chunky way that is the feature of bad fantasy. There's no sense that you have to be filled in just this second. The detail of the world is realised naturally. With the action. Making it so much more natural. And Perfect.

Camouflage is definitely the first type of book. It's compelling, interesting and - in parts - shocking. It also switches through three different stories. With several different times spread evenly between them. I usually hate this. It's too easy to get attached to only one and skim through the others. But it worked.

Shopping trips where both successful and unsuccessful. No stereotypical Wales stuff. I was looking forward to some dragons and a T-shirt or two. No luck. I did pick up some Weaving Sticks from a craft fair (better than the knitted dolls and endless honey) and a black sun hat (see daft pic).

Now I'm back. To central heating and a curry.

Going Away

2006-08-25T10:16:00.002Z

I'm off. For the weekend. Camping in Wales. My Dad and I are going with my uncle Mick and his friends. I consider it cheating that my Dad wants to take camp beds, they are taking full size blow up beds and a fridge freezer.

The place we are going to is called Bala. It's famous for stocking knitting but as the wool for my Anna Socks hasn't come I'll be working on my patterned vest, shown above in my Tool Tote.

Four days, four books. Two read before but need a second glance. A Handful of Dust and Brideshead Revisited my bestest and worst Waugh respectively. Camouflage and Fudoki are my new books (new to me at least) bought for the occasion. I accidentally read half of Camouflage last night. Oops

The plan is up Snowden and lots of messing around the camp site. I doubt a visit to the place Collinette grows will be an option but there are craft shops in town as well as t-shirts to buy.

To my fellow countrymen have a great bank holiday weekend and to everyone else have a great whatever you call the next four days.

Bye

Black Pants, White Fluff

2006-08-24T13:42:00.001Z

So my Mum's friend's daughter gets pregnant. She's around nineteen (I mention this because she's around my age I have nothing against teenage mothers) I met her once. I knit the baby a hat and the mother a scarf. Then the question comes.

'If they buy the wool will you make them a baby cardigan?'

Sure, why not. Well I get given three balls of the white stuff no pattern, no buttons. So I use one of my Mum's old baby jumper patterns. But it's summer and they want the baby to wear it home they want a cardigan.

Without buttons I start improvising from one of my Mum's cardigan patterns. Never mind that it's thick as anything and nowhere near summer appropriate. This is what I have so far.

She was induced yesterday. Good Luck. Even if this cardigan wants me to knit condom cosies. Yeah, like I'm getting any.

The Swag Post

2006-08-22T14:59:00.001Z

This post is dedicated to all the books in the world. I have a Library Thing now. Down a bit, there you go. It should come in more useful once I put my non-fiction in it and term starts. The way it works now My unread/being read fiction is above my bed, the cook books are at my Mum's (the place I cook), knitting patterns and craft books at my Grans, and the majority of my non-fiction and the fiction I have read lives at my Dads with my kids books.

So having some sort of inventory would be useful. Especially when my course books, cookbooks, and unread books move back over the Pennines with me.

This post is also dedicated to me. As much as I have come to the realisation that I shouldn't lie about my size (12/14 on bottom 14/16 on top) because I'm supposed to be skinny, I've also come to the realisation that I'm young. I really don't support anyone dressing 'old'. I'd rather people where what they want and what makes them happy. So in the name of getting me more fun, home made clothing I ordered Yeah I Made It Myself and Generation T. Never being on to shy away from the clichéd and tacky in the first place.

Yeah I Made It Myself was bought to give me a better grounding in the sewing world. I can do it but not very straight and I've never used my sewing machine. Tried it once, thought it was broke and got too sacred to do anything with it. Seeing as I wanted to start with something more than a small backstitch only project but not wrestle with the machine I was hoping there would be more than just how to backstitch. Well there was how to tack. The projects are lovely and the prose sets the right tone. There are also some basic knit projects. Arm warmers, collars, scarves. Fantastic. I have two young cousins that may like this one. I love it.

Generation T is trendy as fuck. I can barely read the little tit-bits and introductions. It's just too much. The projects range from Flashdance flashbacks to a gorgeous wedding dress (yes made out of t-shirts, yes it's really gorgeous, really very). Looking through the projects is like being at a shop. One person will not look good in all the designs but there will be a design that will look good on you. More than one. Clichéd and tacky, yes. Fun, definitely. Some of the projects are no sew which I'm neither for or against. The book does have what I was looking for. The most comprehensive list of practical hand stitches I've seen.

[edit]Measurements are unhelpful in both 'Yeah…' has dreadful pictures. Imagination needed.[/edit]

Also in the pictures is half of my camping reading as well as a beautiful hairgrip Louise sent me. Thank you.

See, I do knit!

2006-08-21T11:27:00.001Z

New batteries in my camera means it’s… A Gratuitous Picture Post

First of all there’s the new hardware. It’s a BagSmith Tool Tote. And fits a very lot of things in. With the exception of most of my needles. Only ones up to 10” will fit. Most of my inherited and bought needles clock in at 14. Including those lovely copper plated ones popping out of the bag. I think they must have belonged to Great-Grandma.

On the needles is the bloody ugly baby cardi. That poor thing is going to look like a chicken when it’s born. I do love novelty yarns (especially railroad) but not for a cardi.

Onward to the FOs…

Pattern: Charlotte (Rowan Knitting & Crochet Magazine 38) Yarn: Ribbon Twist in Rumba Ya What: 8sts*11rows, 60m, 100g, 70% wool 25% acrylic 5% polyamide, Lot 11B5 For: Me Why: Because I’m young, some people find me vaguely attractive sometimes, and I can ware what the feck I want. Even if it is a bulky poncho. Alterations: Gauge slightly tight. Opinion: Generally fun and fast. Already spilt curry on it.

Pattern: Marloes Sand Hat (Rowan Knitting & Crochet Magazine 40) Yarn: Ribbon Twist in Rumba Ya What: 8sts*11rows, 60m, 100g, 70% wool 25% acrylic 5% polyamide, Lot 11B5 For: Me Why: Leftovers + new magazine + cables = new hat Alterations: No earflaps, still not decided on bobbles. I’m not doing two but what do you think about one? Opinion: Can be worn hair up or down, very warm, absolutely lovely. Cables are great but you can’t really see them in the mag so I have extra shot of them just for you.

I Knit in a Thousand Colours

2006-08-09T10:45:00.001Z

Or why my projects aren’t usually black Or I think to much about what I wear

I’m sat here knitting a green vest, looking forward to knitting a dark red wrap yet my blog is written on the basis that I’m a Goth who knits. It may seem like a contradiction (at least a contradiction of the cliché) and it probably is. But because I think too much I’m going to tell you why it is.

When I get dressed (for an event this is not just waking up) I start with a single item or idea. The last time I put too much thought into what I was wearing was meeting my boyfriends parents. I wanted a wrap top. That was it. My grand design. A wrap top. As it was my birthday a week before my Mummy bought me a nice silk one. I bought a necklace that fit the collar shape. I met them in London, which meant travelling, so any more jewellery would have got tangled. I wore flat shoes that I could stuff on top of my bag and my everyday corduroy pants.

My silk wrap top (which I’m wearing in the entry before last) was the main bit. At least in my view. And that is what my knitting is supposed to be; the focal point of the entire outfit. This brings me to my essential rule of dressing. I only allow myself one piece of colour. Alright, that is over dramatic. It’s not a rule, I don’t freak out, but it is what I do. The colour piece is also often the focal point.

So my knitting takes colour. Generally dark. My favourite colours (the vest, Charlotte ) or colours on sale (the wrap). Anyway that’s why

Toys

I ordered more stuff from Loop. Needing needles for Charlotte I ordered me some Swallow ones. They’re purple. My preferred needle materials are metal, plastic and casein. I like the smoothness, the cost, the weight of metal, and how light the other two are. Not all at the same time. Also got some cable needles and stitch markers. The stitch markers aren’t for Charlotte though. I broke all my others. I know, silly thing to do.

No that isn’t the summer IK which I didn’t buy for the lace. And I don’t like the Brioche Bodice which I do not want to order this for after I come back from seeing Tom.

Blue Cabled Hamsterjam

2006-08-07T08:19:00.001Z

Done

My life has become overrun by blue mohair. It skitters across the living room like dust balls. There’s a collection of mohair ‘beads’ by my mothers bed. I’ve ingested it more times than I care to think about. Both my Denise’s and my hands have been dyed blue.

But it’s done. And in a couple of days I’ll have fabric and a finished wrap. Although it was finished by my ten day limit there was no reason too. I’m not going to be able to meet up with Tom this week. Next weekend though. With a new blue wrap. And a slightly sore shoulder.

Carry on

I went to watch the Heywood third team trounce Royton. The third team is where they put those too young or old to play in the first or second team. My fourteen year old cousin is on it.

Rather than be stuck at a cricket match with no knitting I took my patterned vest. But I picked up the wrong make up bag. I brought lipsticks rather than knitting tools. Gah. I ended up using my Mum’s window key as a cable needle. Hay, it worked.

Just getting started

While Tom is away I have the perfect opportunity to make him something small and cute. I want to knit a hamster. I’m basing the body vaguely on the mice in Stitch and Bitch Nation and I have it all worked out. Expect a post where everything goes wrong.

Still must do the ugly baby jacket for the baby (which is also going to be ugly because those things are)

Jesus!

2006-08-05T16:51:00.001Z

It all started last Sunday. After dropping Tom at the train station I saw Greeting from the Knit Café in Waterstones. I was quite impressed but couldn't justify it. It remains on the shelf. (cost

On Tuesday I saw that Shannon over at Knit it in Black, Please (who has my eternal admiration for liking both bunnies and black) had linked to Knitscene. I ordered it from Loop. It came yesterday. (cost £9.50)

And then. And then. I accidentally looked on the previews for the new IK. Silken Spencer, Gatsby Girl Pullover, Wanderlust Hoodie, Swallowtail Shawl: I hate you, I hate you all. I managed to talk myself out of the international subscription. At least until September. (cost £14)

So I went to look at how much it was on Stash and saw the two new Rowan books and the magazine. One section of the magazine is described as 'dramatic and theatrical' another called Fade To Grey my little gothy dreams have come true. The patters look wonderful. It's love! Unfortunately Little Big Wool and Country do not come in black. But I suppose it will save me some cash. (magazine cost £11+ bus fare to the shop) £15)

I wonder if anyone owes me some money.

Shoulders, what shoulders?

2006-07-31T13:22:00.001Z

I found the camera! So here is a real entry.

The yarn I was using for the Sweet Pea Shawl was looking too thick especially in black… it looked quite fishing net. I may try it with some DK weight black. I hope I will, at least.

So, as you can tell from my inexplicably changing progress bars, I’m now working on knitting the Multilayered Tube Shawl in blue KSH. I bought it last year for a project with KSH and Big Wool, the KSH was on sale but I could never afford the Big Wool. The Shawl is from AlterKnits and is worked in the round. And is bloody boring. I think shall have to seriously take up lace. That way I can make something more challenging and impressive should I find some cheap Kid Silk Haze.

I’ll need some fabric to thread thought the middle. I’ll need a trip to Bury Market (voted the best market in the UK or England… one of them) and possibly my Nan’s. She can help me sew. I’m… not good in that department.

I’ve been knitting it a round and about for three weeks now. That picture is of me in the park. Taken by Tom (thank you ) I’ve also knit it in bars in London, Regent’s Park, Tom’s parents house, restaurants in Ramsbottom, three different beds, and my bedroom which doesn’t have a bed. I would really rather it be done in the next ten days.

I’ve been taking advantage of the half-price Rowan sale (and free shipping!) at my all time favourite online wool shop Stash to buy four balls of Ribbon Twist in Rumba (tension square above) which I want to use to make Charlotte from Rowan 38. Yummers. I’m in a shoulder covering mood.

But first!

I’m going to have to use those three balls of white fluffycrap to make a baby cardi. The apples are just to make the picture interesting.

Buying for a passive aggressive: knitting things

2006-07-24T18:25:00.001Z

I lost my digital camera so I don’t have any knitting news right now. By lost I mean it’s in one of three places it’s just hard to narrow down. But I’ve updated the bars.

So you don’t get too board I’m going to do a post that was requested a while ago.

I’m fine with one ball of wool, really. I can find tiny things to make. Two would come in useful for sock wool.

Colour wise, in case you haven’t noticed the type of colours I’ve been wearing since I met you, I like black, dark purple (think amethyst), dark red (think the colour of your blood if you buy me the wrong thing), dark green (gothhobbit), and dark blue but not navy.

If you need more guidance I really, really like Kidsilk Haze which can be bought from these nice people here.

Away from wool pretty, pretty things to store double pointed needles, circular needles or crochet hooks. Although those are more ‘I’m celebrating coming into large amounts of money gifts’ and are placed in this list in case I win the lottery. This is cute though.

The best knitting gift you can give me is to ask about my projects, not roll your eyes too much, encourage me to buy more wool, and say ‘yes but you can beat me up’ next time I get called the housewife. Much like you do now, except that last bit but you know I could.

Gaiters and Sweet Peas nestled on a bed of pattern books and knickers, sir

2006-06-23T15:55:00.001Z

There's the Gaiter. All done. Only. Well. I didn't think it was possible but I overestimated how fat my neck was. Or neglected to check tension. I'll hand in my Kniting Card shall I? I'm hoping the length will be reduced and the height increased by some creative blocking. Which I'd like to do with the aid of blocking pins. Only I don't have any. Any suggestion for UK blocking goodness?

There's the Sweet Pea Shawl. I haven't done the first row of shells yet. But it's getting there. Just slowly. Alright I'll hand in my Crochet Card.

And finally we come to the knickers. They haven't been worn so don't pull your face. Oh. You mean the white bit. But it's cow print. Fine. Have it your way. I'll hand in the damn Goth Card too.

Round and round and up and down

2006-06-21T09:02:00.000Z

The Apology

Damn it.

Sorry.

Just been a little hectic lately.

I've finished my essay, done exams, got results, had an aunt be diagnosed with terminal cancer, had her live longer than the two months they gave her and start treatment, had an uncle die of a heart attack, had a big fight with my boyfriend (alright so it was only a tickle fight), interviewed for a job, got a job, had a review put on the F-word (yay!), and met vast amounts of people who are important to me despite the fact that we have never met.

But all that's just an excuse, I haven't been knitting.

The Knitting

I decided not to go on with any of my old projects. The bars will be moved into a UFO box until I feel differently.

Instead I'm doing the cabled Gaiter from One Skine which is almost done. Basically I thought that I needed to do something for that button besides it will keep my neck from burning when I wear a low cut top. It's in a black Yorkshire Tweed DK.

As I type (not exactly, don't be silly) I'm doing the 200-and-odd chain stitch from the Sweet Pea Shawl from The Happy Hooker. In some black-aran-lost-ball-band stuff. It will be both Gothy and suitable enough to wear to see Tom. Who is at home now, like me, so visiting includes parents.

Pictures as soon as.

Review: Alterknits

2006-04-20T10:26:00.001Z

If I were in the business of judging a book by its cover Alterknits would have me. The fabric covered spine looks delicious on any bookcase. When it's pulled down the wonderfully shot front cover begs you to open it up. Inside the projects are presented much like the cover. A blend of techniques, styles and materials.

I'm a big fan of introductions, both to books and patterns, that tell me what the designer was thinking. Radford gives out her aims as trying to 'reorder the way I… looked at knitting's potential'.

Some of the patters appear to miss the mark by a few years. The Zigzag Sweater Blanket is made from felted sweaters in a way that designers and craftspeople have been exploiting for a while now. The Recycled Sweater Totes is a more ingenious take on this.

The knitting you would have to do for some of the projects is hardly challenging for people past the advanced beginner stage, the difficulty in the pattern appears to be in the different techniques and materials. Some of the patterns call for crotchet, sewing, eyelet setting, and embellishment in a way that may be annoying to people who, by preference or ability, only knit. Especially in projects like Velvet-Trimmed Raglan Pullover which, aside from the velvet trim, is very plain.

The projects knit with different materials do not miss the mark. The Crepe Paper Crown looks stunning and I can't wait to try my hand at the Herringbone Leather Cuff. Even the more common none-yarn materials such as wire are given a new, creative twist.

The garments come in a range of styles so most people should find one to suit themselves but only three sizes are given for the adult project with no written guidelines about how much ease to give. Thankfully the pictures are very useful for understanding the pattern. They manage to be the perfect balance between artfully shot and practical.

Aside from the patterns there is a 'creativity notebook' and exercises sprinkled throughout the book. The note book may come in useful, if only for the graph paper, but the exercises seem quite tired and forced. Neither detract anything from the book or - more importantly - increase the price. Which is, at least in the UK impressive value for money.

Does the book show a new potential of knitting? In places. It is much like any other pattern book though. Projects you want to knit, projects you don't want to knit. There is something for every taste but definitely not everything for all tastes.

Links: Leigh Radford, eratta

Takeing it one twist at a time (and enjoying it)

2006-04-16T08:50:00.001Z

There is a point when I’m writing where I have no enthusiasm for it. Sure, I have enthusiasm for the idea, the story, the subject but I don’t really feel the need to put it down on to paper. To make those words real. This happens to me for the first one hundred words or so. In knitting it’s until I get through the first couple of repeats or until the pattern is easily seen in the work.

I got to that point last night with my vest and fell, as I did with the back at the same point, in love with it again. I can see my progress and the rows seem to be shorter. The only thing keeping me from going further than what you see in the picture is my eyes. They had a problem keeping open.

Now I wonder what the knitting equivalent is to my writing ‘wall’ around 700 words?

Fit for a Regent… eventually

2006-04-15T14:21:00.001Z

Well I didn’t actually get as much knitting time in as I wanted. The pills made me drowsier than I thought they would and the lace pattern on the Summer Lace Anklets isn’t easy for me to memorise (possibly because I’m reasoning it isn’t worthwhile to learn as I’ll do 16 repeats for the pair)

I started them in a DK weight cotton but I couldn’t see the pattern at all. I slipped in a quick wool shop visit and picked up some purple Yorkshire Tweed 4-ply after reasoning the red was too bright and the green was not going to go with much. I love Yorkshire Tweed. I do. I’ll use the black for the foot.

The patterned vest is not inspiring me right now I got through one cable repeat. That’s seven rows. Seven rows in two months. I lied a bit in the progress bar to make me feel better. Will hopefully meet that tonight because I need some mindless knitting for the new Doctor Who. Yay!

And the significance of Regent Street? None actually. Really. I just like the word Regent or Regency, it’s Regenty.

Personally, it’s the legs and the arms I feel sorry for…

2006-04-08T21:04:00.001Z

Yay! Only the heel left and my boyfriend will have a nice green pair of hand knit socks. Now I want some. Only ankle socks. So on Thursday night I was browsing Get Knitted and found these three patterns. Which came this morning with a lolly (and a pen but) Okay… so two of them aren’t ankle socks but spiders, and lace! I really need new ankle socks (getting blisters after loosing my last pair) so I may, if I can get the wool and the needles, start them on the train down to London next week. Fingers crossed.

I know I said that I’d take my Yoke vest with me when I came home on Thursday but those progress bars have guilted me into picking up my patterned vest. As soon as I’m done with the heel I’ll get to work on that and I have plenty of knitting time this weekend. House sitting until Wednesday and then a train to London. And new travel sickness pills!

Well considering this post is short on pictures have a gratuitous elephant shot from Chester Zoo this Thursday.

P.S I'm going London next week.

Green Goats and Hamsters

2006-04-05T18:08:00.001Z

Did you notice? On the pictures of Monty? He was wearing something. A goat cosy? No, a wrist warmer…

I was up late a few nights before Valentines Day and decided to knit it for Tom. I was going to do a big purled 'T' but I went for something more personal. A green goat. Look, I didn't intend for it to be so satanic looking.

Well it didn't fit. I knew I should only fall for men with girly proportions. Strangely Tom still wore it and even showed it to his Mum. She, no doubt thinks I'm a. a Satanist and b. a bad knitter. Much like my mother, in fact.

I've finally got around to knitting a fitting one. It looks like this (only without the needle coming out of the top)

Warts and all

2006-04-04T19:29:00.001Z

My last project was an attempt to tidy up my stockinet stitch, for the most part I succeeded. Looking at the Yoke Vest though that all seems to have fallen apart.

My hands got used to working the knit so the parts worked straight are, as you can see by the picture, disturbingly crooked. I thought I'd decide tomorrow if I was going to frog it and do that part again or not but looking at the pictures now I'll definitely have to. Ahh well. Truth be told I'm not happy with my yoke or my collar. I could have ignored it if it was just that but… no point in letting a good learning experience go to waste. Or a lovely top like that sit in my wardrobe because someone may point out the faults.

I'll take it home at the weekend and concentrate on the socks until then. I miss the DPNs.