I wrote this so long ago that my biography lists me as having a job. It was before I joined in with Guiding in Torbay too.
But I did write it! From The F-Word about Guiding and being girl only.
When comparing the 1940's to today:
Yes, it's a badly researched comparison that quote experts in seemingly unrelated fields but the conclusion is clear. Life was better when we had nowt to eat and fewer choices. Now who wants to give up the last 60 years of progress - in the UK at least - in modern medicine, access to food, and human rights? Anyone?
You may get thinner!
And at the end of the day longevity isn't a good thing because an ageing female population is prone to Osteoporosis which costs the NHS money.
Also, and I hated to break it to you, 'Bigger breasts alone don't necessarily mean an increased risk of breast cancer' actually translates to 'I know you weren't worrying about it and you have no reason to but perhaps you should'. So fellow Bravissimo shopper... we're doomed.
Quotes taken out of the appalling context given to it by the Daily Mail.
So I was going to use the last few hours of daylight to blog about cupcakes.
Then I got angry. Really, incredibly angry. Again at We Are The Real Deal. This time I get the message loud and clear. They are the real deal. I'm not. So I'm not going back.
So what is so anger inducing this time? MizFit posting about 'What IS average?' or, indeed, how to tell if you are better than everyone.
It's getting late and the wind is blowing and the rain is falling. I'm short of breath. So I'm just going to do a baby deconstruction here.
Scary projections aside (mainly because it isn't 2015 and even if it was obesity isn't bad in and of itself...) it seems to me that the question is not how to tell that I'm average it's how to tell if I'm not one of those big, bad, fat chicks.
Let's go a bit further into this. Why, why oh why, do you need to know if you are average? Why do you need to know how you measure on a curve?
The basics of body acceptance tell us that it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you are average, above average or bellow average in anything. You are a person. Your measurements don't define you, you shouldn't be defined by your measurements.
Knowing where you are on the curve is putting people above you and bellow you. It's setting yourself in a rank. And it this case it's wanting to see how you are better than 'American average' which means sadly in MizFit's opinion 'just a little overweight'.
That type of thinking? It's the very antithesis of acceptance.
Even worse that MizFit's standard for being awesomely average is ridiculously ableist. See, this is what you should do:
Can you manage that? If not, then you aren't fine.
Now keep in mind that I have no physical disability. I'm average remember. But I have days when I can't get out of bed, my right ankle is playing up, my childhood asthma has left me with a low lung capacity, period pain, hay fever and like everyone else I'm at the mercy of bacteria, viruses and anything that wants to call my body it's home. These are only the problems a healthy person (who can walk 13 miles without flinching if the conditions are right) has with this test of averageosity.
That's the problems with this entire 'be healthy' rhetoric. It's crap. Healthy is a state. A state that can not be achieved by hard work and dedication if all the cards are stacked against you. To judge people by this standard - that many of us only hold onto by the skin of our teeth - is the very antithesis of acceptance.
It also has nice connotations about class. Now I can't speak for the States but I am told that it's sometimes a problem there to walk for six blocks. It certainly can be here in some areas and we have plenty of footpaths and pavements.
Class connotations are also rife in exercises+ awesome diet= infallible health rhetoric. If only you work at it by going to the gym and eating 'healthful' foods you deserve health. Anyone who doesn't have the same resources, funds, time and priorities (Any or all in combination) is just lazy and isn't working hard enough.
So let's answer MizFit's questions:
Have we gone so far into the notion of perfect not being important & it’s ok to be less than our best & we need to love ourselves regardless that we’ve swung too far into deconditioned is the new black! territory?"
Yes, body acceptance has gone too far. Truly if we allow people to be okay with themselves even if they aren't healthy, even if they aren't average then...
Wait no, that isn't what happens at all.
People are still discriminated against for having different bodies. Fat people are dismissed by doctors, women have sexual abuse shouted at them on the street, disabled people, people of colour, non-heterosexuals, transgendered people... Treated like crap for looking different everyday.
Acceptance hasn't gone too far. On a large societal scale it hasn't even happened. A world which MizFit describes in fearful tones sounds perfect to me.
'we need to love ourselves regardless' and to suggest anything but We Are The Real Deal has become the antithesis of acceptance.
For some reason that will go unmentioned, but from recent posts you can probably guess, I’ve been thinking of my own thin privilege lately.
When I found fat acceptance I was coming at it from the perspective of someone who thought them self fat. I’m not. I’m thin. But I’ve only come to realise I was thin recently.
Why? Well yes, I lost inches around the waist as a result of pasty deprivation but - I admit now – I was thin before that.
Probably my mental issues come into play here, making me cringe with disgust as my big flabby stomach brushed against the sheets in bed. Or how I screamed thinking of my fat cheeks turning inward to suffocate me.
Reading that back it scares me. How the hell did my body image get so far off of what I am: an average sized, average height woman who always manages to find something off the rack even if my boobs make me an inbetweenie.
And yes, some off that is anxiety and depression. I imagine I have some undiagnosed body issues thrown in. Some of it is, of course, growing up with a family that commented on my chicken legs. And I think that is why thin privilege can be so hard to grasp. Because it’s easy enough to think thin people have it easy but not so easy to say ‘like me’
I have had it easier being thin. To choose just one example when I joined the University Health Centre in my first year I had to have a physical. The guy doing it did my BMI and found me solidly (as usual) in the middle.
He asked me if I did any exercise. “No, not really. But I do walk everywhere.” He told me that it wasn’t a problem but I may want to think about joining the gym if I put on weight like a lot of people do in first year.
Yeah, spot the logic there.
So from realising I was thin I could realise my thin privilege, but how did I come to realise I was thin? It ties in with something I’ve wanted to talk about for a while. How my barely updated craft blog got political.
You see it’s hard for me to separate one from the other. Just like how we occasionally bring up the politics of food on Always Autumn politics is entwined with the way I craft.
If I where to post about how I wasn’t doing any projects or – more accurately – how I didn’t feel I had done anything good enough to post I couldn’t do that without talking about depression.
Cutting the cloth for a dress makes me think about my body. I measure it constantly, evaluating a clothing project means talking about my boobs or my hip size. And so often when I post ‘my big boobs’ so on or ‘I’ve lost weight so I’ve taken this in’ I feel like apologising for having at least some ideal (so called, although not in the sense that it causes me problems with altering in the first place!) parts of my body.
Crafting lends itself to discussion of body image, to my mental state. It makes me think about feminism and the treatment of the mentally ill. When I want to write about crafting with Guides it’s often linked up with thoughts about how young people don’t have a realistic voice.
Quite frankly if I tried to separate the political from the personal I’d never bloody post. And -of course - I didn't.
Following on from the last post about Anita and Me, I often wonder what books I would give out to the young people in my life as a sort of crash course. It's easy enough to give a vegan cupcake recipe to the young girl wanting to go vegan or Stitch and Bitch to a beginner knitter. But what about those not so specialist subjects, the ones that intrude on our everyday life?
What about something can persuade them that, yes, feminism is reliant to them and it's nothing to be ashamed of. In fact it can actually help them by letting them know it's okay to stand up for themselves, and to take responsibility for themselves. Granted it's a bit more 101 than my favourite treatments on the subject but just perfect for the 13-16 year olds in my acquaintance. The ones in need of a little 101.
First is He's a Stud, She's a Slut and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know
But, aside from that minor niggle, I think this would be a great first Feminism book for any young woman. It's funny, accessible and deals with their lives not abstract ideas. It's an appetiser. And that is why I bookcrossed it.
Then there is Getting in Touch with Your Inner Bitch
One example that the book used that especially stood out for me was about condoms. I knew a girl at college who was too Nice to ask the guy to get some, too Nice to get some herself. So she ended up with the morning after pill, and putting both her body and mind at significant risk. She could have done with being a bitch and young women need to know that it is okay to be one too. It, of course, helps that it's a funny, easy to read book.
But, at the end of the day, I think the most necessary piece of advice I'd give to my younger cousins is this Dorothy Parker verse:
The Lady's Reward
Lady, lady, never start
Conversation towards your heart;
Keep your pretty words serene;
Never murmur what you mean.
Show yourself, by word and look,
Swift and shallow as a brook.
Be as cool and quick to go
As a drop of April snow;
Be as delicate and gay
As a cherry flower in May.
Lady, Lady, never speak
Of the tears that burn your cheek-
She will never win him, whose
Words had shown she feared to lose.
Be you wise and never sad,
You will get your lovely lad.
Never be serious or true,
And your wish will come to you-
And if that makes you happy, kid,
You'll be the first it ever did.
Believe me, I've tried it. So perhaps I should get them all a Portable Dorothy Parker
Edit: Both my girl cousins are white, straight and able bodied. So that effects my recommendations a lot.
Often it's hard to feel like you are truly doing something in the world. It's even harder, once you feel inspired, to start.
How is it that you can make a difference? How can you stop the council from removing trees from a park? Where the hell do you find a feminist book club? I don't have a clue. So I turned to books for the answers.
How to Save the World in Your Spare Time
The tag line on the back 'Got five minutes? You can save the world!' reminds me of an old Guiders joke. An old advertising campaign asked people to volunteer one hour a week. Considering most Guide meetings last longer than that without mentioning planning and residentials most volunteers found that insane. Indeed the last chapter is about the joys of devoting your life (that is, all of it) to activism.
Still it inspires you with ideas, advice and tried and tested techniques. There is guidance on starting a group, writing press releases, creating petitions and even such topics as civil disobedience.
Although this book is written from the perspective of environmental campaigns it can be used by people pursuing other issue. Although I suppose loggers may be put off.
My second book came firmly from a feminist bent. Jennifer Baumgardener and Amy Richards' Grassroots: A Field Guide for Feminist Activism
It's definitely inspiring but isn't quite as full of practical advice. Some of the same ideas are covered such as how to start a group but the focus is more on how to find activism in your everyday life rather than making activism your life.
It has a narrower audience too. The narrative created by the chapters is very American (and, I'm told, middle class, New York focused). It takes us from activism in high school, college, the workplace. But a scatted, unfocused chapter is also included on activism and art.
Throughout the book pieces of advice are broken up by people who have actually tried them. Sometimes it went well other times groups fizzled out or the person burnt out. This is fantastic to hear for anyone who ever wondered if the activist was super human.
I'm left feeling inspired by both works. Grassroots offers me the advice I need for working on an individual level and How To Save The World... gives me advice for achieving the impossible.
I'm glad Grassroots said there was more to do than write letters, donate money and volunteer. It makes me stop feeling like a bad feminist for not being able to afford £5 a month for the Fawcett society. Although I do wish the more simple, elementary things like how to write to representatives were covered. But if you are looking for ways to get involved both books give plenty of ideas.
And following advice I'm planning something fun for International Women's Day.
