I'm sure you heard about what happened at We Are The Real Deal. It made my blood boil, it also made me feel very stubborn so I'm reading there and commenting there despite that. What I'm trying to say is that I don't currently endorse them. I respect the ideals and hope it can get back on track but I don't endorse the current atmosphere.
Okay, that aside I'd like to talk about one of the last posts Those Stretch Marks Run Deep by new team member Yum Yuky.
She points out that to her stretch marks are a mark of her pregnancies:
Now it's already been pointed out that Yum Yuky was talking from her own experiences and that she herself got some stretch marks at puberty so this isn't particularly aimed at Yum Yuky herself but...
Every time, each and every time, I see people defending their body based on the fact that they have given birth it makes me feel like a pile of crap.
My hips are wide child birthing hips, my fat didn't come off after my pregnancy, my pregnancy gave me stretch marks. And I've seen more.
See by giving a reason for a 'bad' feature - and quite often I imagine the person writing the statement in unconscious of this - you are giving an excuse. Perhaps giving is the wrong word. Providing possibly. You are providing the reader with a reason that you are virtuous and the other wide hipped, streachmarked fatties aren't.
It sets up a deserving vs. undeserving argument and as an undeserving it makes me feel like crap.
Because people have seen my stretch marks and told me it's odd that I have them. And those people, not Yum Yuky, who are really annoying me here. It pisses me off that my body is supposed to fit a script, and somebody else's script at that.
I don't need to defend my body, I don't need a reason to have stretch marks. I just am and I just have.
I commented on the original post:
I have stretch marks.
I have no kids, no pregnancies and –so I’ve been told, at least- no excuse.
They are about half the way down my thighs and there are some smaller patches in my stomach and breasts. When I first got them, around 13, they where bright, bloody red. Now they are white.
For me they aren’t a badge of honour, they aren’t a symbol of something gained, or lost. They just are.